Friday, October 16, 2009
What a difference some sunshine can make.
I don't sleep on schedule anymore and have became a vampire. Sleeping during the late day and getting up in the wee hours of the morning. Hell, I'm used to wacky sleep. I'm bipolar and pretty much will get any sleep I can. Before, waiting to see if we would get sun today , I was talking to a friend and realized I'm not so indifferent as I thought I was. It was nice to get a little irritation out of me and not feel so much like a zombie. I also decided to not allow my self fall deeper into the abyss of depression. That I need to take all means necessary even if I don't feel like it. I never feel like doing anything anymore and realize that is an excuse to allow myself stay in the bogs of my despair. It isn't as easy as pulling yourself up by the boot straps but you do have to do things no matter how your feeling and it took me a lot of years to realize that and just not swing with my mood. I'm not totally off the rollercoaster but better at managing it at times. Like I made myself get fresh air today . It was a balmy 29f outside but so gorgeous with sunshine and the morning sunset. I really take the sun for granted except when it doesn't shine. It was so nice to see the frost on the ground and took the dogs for a romp down to the lake. I think they where as excited as I was to get a dry day so far. My depression is far from gone but I can see something bright once in awhile and hope no matter what I wont let my self sink to the bottom and can keep up with the trudging and find something good in life. My goal is to resume some of my plans today to get the house in order and if the weather keeps it up enjoy some of the sunlight. Maybe, go for a jog. It has been awhile since all the rainfall.