All Over

I don't know where I'm going with this post as I seem scattered and overwhelmed. I guess I will start with I got all the yard work done for the dog's invisible fence people . They did a great job installing it and we have been training the dogs twice a day. We have to have them chained up for a week until they understand their boundaries. It is coming along great. It is day three of it and we will up the radio waves on the collar and it will be more of a vibration if they challenge the boundary lines.
I have started to tackle the house and it is a huge job as I really haven't done anything in months. I did take a break yesterday from everything as I was just real worn from all the heavy work around the yard and my body would not take anymore. I had a nice time watching pure crap on t.v. and eating a ton of vegetables and fruits as that seemed to be what my body has been lacking and craving. I really don't know what I want to tackle today as it really looks like a bomb was set off in this house. I will probably do some errands today such as going to the dump and getting some cancer sticks(cigs)out on the Indian rez as they are about half the price as they are at the regular store. It wouldn't hurt me to get cleaned up as I have been in work clothes for days followed by my pjs.
I hope I can get the kinks out of my brain and start thinking in a more linear fashion. It would make it so much easier to get things done and not be all over the place. I really need to make myself a list but they don't help much as I basically know what I need to do but still skip all over the place.

Anxiety

I have been so full of postive and negative feelings lately. I have also been full of anxiety. The crippling stuff that wants me to just not do anything. I tell myself I'm overwhelmed because of all I have to do. Well now I don't have to do anything and Im still anxious. I decided to go jogging in the dreary grey drizzle. It sure does clear my mind for awhile. It is so important that I get some sort of exercise as it has away of clearing out just for awhile the antsy anxiety that burdens me.
I thought I wouldn't need a list for awhile and just go by muddled mind. It isn't working. I do know what I need to get done but sometimes it helps me see it in a concreate level. I know sometimes Im more into the list then the actual things I need to do and never do on the list. Sometimes, though it gives me a starting point and that is what I need when I feel overwhelmed with life. Sometimes, I just start with what is the easiest and it gives me confidence that I will get more done and it builds on it's self. Sometimes, I just need to take a break from all the crap in my life .
Today, Im going to be gentle with myself and just focus on myself. I haven't focused on myself for so long that I tend to forget my needs. My need to do something fun is great. My need to do something to escape is great. Maybe, I will just grab a book today and hopefully it will clear enough for another jog to clear out the cob webs in my brain. I could really use more outside time. I'm also enjoying my music today. I love music and today is going to be a music day and not a TV day. I'm so sick of the stuff on tv . I have to also priotize some of my projects today and hope to finish the media storage system I started to finish last night.