Monday, February 13, 2012

Comfortable Numb

I thought I would post to say I'm still kicking. I have been pretty subdued and depressed. I have been holed up in isolation for awhile in the dismal winter days. Lately, it has been getting more winter like and I'm coming alive again.

I have been watching box sets of TV series. True Blood and Nurse Jackie. My new set is Downtown Abbey. So far haven't been saving much money buying multiply series but it is cheaper than some of my indulges. My mind is about numb as it can be watching hours of this crap. I really need to get out and get fresh air.

The depression is that kind that is comfortable. Wrapped up in a cocoon type. It is going to take some undertaking to get out of my funk because it doesn't feel all that bad. It is safe. It is like a drug that numbs and deflects reality. I'm in my own little world devoided of everything. It sucks me in a little more everyday.

I'm becoming more cynical and don't care about much at the moment. That in it self is freeing. Society just gets the big middle finger at the moment. I also really don't care what anyone thinks at the moment about me . It is actually freeing of the chains of what I'm suppose to do. Because I don't do anything lately that I think I SHOULD do. Or what anyone wants me to do.