Life

Life is OK. My partner got out of detox Monday. She is still weak physically but doing well. I see a vast improvement with her. She still has along ways to go physically but is getting there. I was actually happy to have her back home and take it a day at a time also with her problem. My mood is still mixed and I have been trying to be up beat. My sleep is still irregular but at least I'm sleeping. I know sometime, it will go back to normal. I just need a jolt or something to get it back to normal hours that people sleep.
I'm going to have to start getting ready also for our trip next week and I have had not much energy except to do stuff that I have to do around the house. I look forward to the trip actually to get out and visit in-laws and get a little shopping done. I want to buy some cross country ski's this year and possibly some snow shoes. Last year I bought some ice skates which I need to use more. I'm a terrible skater. I actually look forward to the snow as that is when a second wave of life starts around here. It is also nice and bright in the winter and not ugly and as dull as it is now.

A flood of feelings

I don't know what to really say. My partner has been suffering from addiction and is also Bipolar. I went to an appointment with her today as she was ready to get help with her drinking problem. I'm very proud of her and think it takes a lot of courage to get help. My feelings have been all over the place. I worry a lot about her also as she has some underlying health problems. She was so scared and rightfully so as this is hopefully going to change her life. I already miss her and hope her the best as I know she can do this five day detox. Maybe, this will also give her a chance to get her meds together and me a break from all the chaos that has been around lately. It is heart breaking to watch someone drinking them self to death slowly . It is like slowly committing suicide. I have so much going in my head at the moment and it doesn't help my mood is at a all time mixed up crap state. I need to take care of myself in the meantime and do what I can for me at the moment as my hands are totally out of the mix what is going to happen to her at the moment. I cant guess what will happen and just hope she will be OK. She had to go to detox out of town and I really hope she will be OK. More to come in more days when all this sinks into my brain.