Sunny Day

It is such a nice day today. It has rained pretty hard off and on for about a week. It is nice and warm today. First day really of any warmth here. About 70F or 18C for an estimate. The daffodils are finally coming up and looking so pretty. Something, about bright colours that make me happy. The tulips are inching up pretty steady and hopefully in a week or two they will be in bloom. I planted many bulbs last year and forgot what I planted so I'm thrilled to see what colours I planned or I will be very surpised. It will be something to see as I generally am in a higher mood when I buy so many bulbs. It will probaly be very colourful if not a tacky arraigment of colours. Who knows. That is why I said I will be surpised:)
The ice went out of the lake about a week ago . I think anyway. I just managed the other day to walk in the backyard to look at it. It is so nice to see water again and also see that our dock held up in the brutul ice and winter. I can't wait till June when it will probaly be warm enough to swim in. I really look forward to swimming and floating around in the lake.
Today, is actually nice enough to bbq. How I have missed my Green Egg. I look forward to getting back to using it a lot as it is so idiot proof and easy to cook on. I really do need easy and healthy at the minute. I also always have loved no dishes. I hate washing dishes. I love easy clean up also. I like anything that makes life easier.
I did manage to walk around slowly yesterday and throw some grass seed out to reseed the lawn. You can't go wrong with grass seed that will grow on cement:) It is lovely grass when it grows so easy and you don't have to do all the complicate reseeding methods and watering all the time. I had J do the fertlizing this year. I just love nice grass that is soft that you can go barefooted on. I hate shoes and socks. Have had my sandals on for awhile even though it has been cold. Oh the freedom of sandals and not heavy clunky snow boots. I literally lost a good 5-10 pounds shedding those boots. Story on my snow boots was I accidently bought construction , steel shanked ones with steel toes in them. They where so warm and like wearing weighs around my ankles I kept them. I'm really like that story princess and the pea when it comes to finding just the right boot. I have like four pairs of various ugly snow boots. I love various shoes if I have to wear them. Love the different sandals and tennis shoes. Blackflie season will be shortly here and I will have to put the shoes back on to not get ate up.
It is very important to enjoy the nice weather because when the trilliums come up the blackflies will be out. They last a couple of weeks hopefully. The mosqutioes last longer but I don't hate them as much. I had the garden dug awhile back so will have J start planting. I was going to do it sooner but life came knocking. I look forward to puttering around the garden this year. I planted one last year and the girls (dogs) died and I had no passion for much and let it go. I can't believe Spud has been gone for almost a year. It seemed just like yesterday. I can actually finally think of her without crying and actually smile some. I still have my moments since both Spud and Flora died so close together. Next week , I have to deal with Brett and the vet. I postponed it till this coming Thursday and I won't be happy but I think I can deal with it. Either they can help him or I will have to think about putting him down. The old man has been through so much with me and has been such a loyal friend. But I'm prepared. I have been through so much this past last year nothing is much of a surpise to me and really has taught me I can deal with just about anything. It has also taught me to enjoy the small moments also as anything or anyone can be here one moment and gone the next. I have had grief in the past but this last year I really had to deal with it and really go through the stages and just not just get stuck.
Anyway, I'm going to enjoy the nice day. Absorb the sun and try to have fun and not take myself that serious.

Getting There

I was so depressed yesterday dealing with my emotions about Spud the dog. I guess I'm out of shock, anger and bargaining and moving into acceptance. Oh the wonderful grief process. I know life has to go on and we have two other dogs and a cat. I brushed one dog yesterday and clipped the nails of the cat as part of me taking care of them. Took one on a small walk . Trying to get back to normal whatever that is. I felt dead inside as I did all my task yesterday and going to town to go grocery shopping and do errands. Finally got my tomatoes and other things I need to finish the garden. I also got a ton of flowers as they make me happy and the more they grow I get a big delight out of it.
Today is suppose to be warm and I will get a lot done hopefully if I don't crap out emotionally and physically. I know I will gradually move on but really don't know about this flat do nothing irritable mood that is getting old. The dog really was the straw that broke the camels back. I feel paralyzed when it comes to do the things I really need to get done and just get nothing done. I have no motivation and don't have the energy to just make myself. I will repeat trudge , trudge , trudge

I'm back

I know I finally feel like I have a little life in me if I feel like blogging. I have started to get more active again. I have been suffering from severe allergies and have done everything from washing them out to taking meds for them. The meds have left me feeling crappy and speedy but anti-social. I have done my best around the house even though I feel like I could of done more to keep things in order and I haven't. I have a big wreck of a house to clean up since the month of decline in mood and body. My back hurts today after unloading a hind of beef and some pork which together is about 175lbs. I'm set for meat until this fall and I'm very happy about it. I also planted a garden even though I have one more part of the garden to till up by hand and plant. The weather is still coldish to put in tomatoes or starter plants. I still have tomatoes, cucumbers, peppers, eggplant to put in and some herbs by seed. I have put in sugar peas, snap peas, swiss chard, salad greens, green onions, and radishes.
I have finally sent a gift card for my mother's day present and hope it gets there faster than she has sent my birthday present. My birthday was last week and cards and presents still ha vent came even though people have asked me about them. I'm still sort of disappointed about not receiving them in a timely matter. Oh well it is the thought that counts even if I don't know what that thought is.
I got a golf membership not that long ago and have played a couple of times but haven't lately due to bugs and allergies. I tend to keep in the house during black fly season. I will soon when it isn't raining . I wish today it wouldn't rain because I feel real good for a change. I do look forward to the summer though.