Do you want some cheese with your whine

Today, has been a dreary dark day until the clouds cleared out this evening . The evening got still as the clouds cleared. I wish my mood would clear like those clouds. I have been alone today. J went away for the week-end and the house is so quiet without the girls being with us anymore. This is my first time alone without watching 3 dogs and a cat. If you have been following the girls died this year. The house is empty without them. I still have Brett but he is a old crank that sleeps most of the day or hunts. The poor thing ate a whole box of bran buds while I was at the grocery store today. He got it off a counter. He must of used his big paws to scoop it off the counter as it was far back. He is in a lot of distress stomach wise and should be better tomorrow but until then he is full of gas and the stink is about killing me. I might have to kick him off the couch. The cat is about useless without J here. She won't come out of the bedroom but managed to keep me from sleeping this morning playing with her ball and spitting around the house at 3 in the morning.
I have read a lot today as the summer is full of shit on t.v. and I have watched about every sitcom this summer. I just can't numb my brain with that crap anymore. I also been a little introspective and it is just uncomfortable. I think it is uncomfortable because It has been a rough year and I just don't want to be alone with some of my thoughts. Not that they are dangerous or anything but just painful and sad. I generally have other things to focus on and for once I'm alone with myself and I don't really like it right now. I have to come up with a project this week-end. I don't want to think. I would go somewhere but have no wheels this week-end which leads me to feel trapped. I'm so full of complaints this week-end. I feel like asking me if I want some cheese with my whine.