Showing posts with label trip. Show all posts
Showing posts with label trip. Show all posts

Monday, November 9, 2009

Mixed Mood switching over to Mania

In this mixed state of mine , I feel like it is moving to just pure mania. I wanted a shift of mood but not mania. I hate full blown mania. I'm ok if I just don't do anything to agitate me but you have to live life. The more I do the more I act like a volcano of energy. I finally went and did my clothes yesterday and what a chore that was. I ended up doing them fine until they where about done. The first dryer load I folded and then I couldn't fold them any more and just shoved them into bags to do at home. I hate wrinkles and will have to iron some of them out. I tend to hate anything out of order when I'm in this mood and I'm not my laid back self.
I have been getting cat naps and that hasn't been great but at least it is sleep. I can sleep two -three hours straight and wake up . My sleep generally ends in a nightmare which wakes me up. I once had a shrink tell me nightmares tend to happen when a mood is changing. Wow, what an insight. I could have said that. I know my cycles pretty well and November is a bear for me with mania and just pure insanity no matter what I do. I can ease the insanity and do less damage but it is still there the underlying mood. I just have to have my safe guards in place like limits of money and more time outs and I try not to go around people as much as I tend to be irritable or to friendly. I do everything to an excess in this mood and have a hard time seating still.
Which brings me to I don't know how I'm going to seat for 4 hours in the truck when we go to Cambridge today. I will but it will be painful. I will be like a fidgeting little kid , yelling are we there yet. I think I will have to bring my gameboy and listen to music and try to distract myself just like you would a hyper child. Rest stops to exercise my bouncing legs. I think when we get there I will manage to stay busy and take the breaks I need and maybe it will just make me happy not to be at home which I surely think it will. Now to manage to not spend to much as I will give my partner my credit card and will only ask for it when I really need it . I will also need some time outs from my in-laws as they tend to get on my nerves also at times and that is when I will walk out and have a continual smoke break. I need to set my boundaries as they are different in this different mood. It does work though .