Sometimes, I just need to get back to basics with being Bipolar. That is sleep,eating right, exercising and having me time to heal. Basically taking care of myself. I have been dxed since I was 27 and I'm now almost 37. It has been a long ride for the past 10 years. I also no longer beat myself up for the things I don't do and just take things in stride lately. I'm really trying to beat getting to the hole I'm heading into. I'm also trying not to speculate about the future as I have no control over it and I tend to be a control-freak. I can't control anything of other peoples or even much of my own shit. I try to take it a day or sometimes a hour or a minute at a time. My mood basically sucks and it isn't going anywhere soon. I don't feel like doing anything lately and that doesn't give me an excuse anymore to stop trudging with doing what I need to do. I used to tell myself I couldn't do it. But in all honesty I just didn't want to do the things that make me well. I don't have to feel good to make some strides and take care of myself.
With no energy except the anxiety I took a short jog which made me feel better temporally. I cooked today and had three meals today. I ate a healthy salad and started my extra vitamins. I relaxed today and listened to my favorite music as loud as I wanted and made more play list. I acknowledge the feelings that have been bothering me even though it more less takes time to get over some of the stuff I'm dealing with at the moment. I also escaped into magazines today and was trying to distract myself. Most importantly I have a very good friend that will talk with me and I talk to her about her problems. It is always nice to have support . I'm still working on a support system since I have moved over a thousand miles from mine.
I also bought me a Bose docking system as a treat for putting up with life. Sometimes we need to treat ourselves. I haven't done anything nice for myself in awhile. I also thought I would extend the niceness to taking care of myself with giving myself a manicure and pedicure. I also did a cheap facial and felt relax for awhile. Sometimes , I ignore my appearance and need to remember that is important to have these things done and it boost my ailing self-esteem even when I'm not into it. It is building stones to help me get where I want to be. It is a never ending battle and some days it is as level as it gets but it isn't a cure. Somedays you just need to take a day off and do things for yourself.