Monday, April 4, 2011

Last Week Was Crazy

This past last week blew by like a tornado. Rough and destructive. I'm glad it is in the past. It has been the most drama in my life in awhile. I hate drama and avoided it like the plaque. When we where in Cambridge visiting my in-laws, I got a call from my mother. It was early in the morning and I could hear her voice that something was wrong. At first I thought my grandmother died. Instead, she told me my daughter, sister and my daughter's best friend was in a car accident. That they where all alive. Relief set in that they where all alive. Then I was told it was a pretty bad accident. My daughter suffered a pretty bad concussion, cuts all over her face, broken collar bone. My sister was the worse injured. Broken pelvis in two places, internal bleeding that results in taking out part of her small intestion and repairing another part. It will be a very long recovery for her as the seat belt damaged her abodmen real bad and they can't close her abdomien from the surgery and will have to pack it and let it heal from the inside out. My daughters friend suffered a broken collar bone and a broken ankle. After, seeing pictures of the car they are all very lucky to be alive.

The drama started when the accident happened . No one knew at the time what happened. Me and my mother sort of had it figured out by some of the things my sister told her when she was in ER trauma unit. My mom would call and call when I was in Cambridge giving me updates. We did find out that my sister caused the accident running a red light. For what ever reason , we will not ever know. The other girls in the car don't remember anything. It is all a nightmare blur to them.I know the girls are suffering from PTSD after the wreck. It was an ordeal for them getting cut out of the car with the jaws of life, all the blood, etc. I don't know what my sister is going through as she has been drugged to the max with pain pumps etc. She has a large posse at her bedside that prefers her not to know the truth. That is where the rub starts. My sister isn't a child and shouldn't be treated like one. My mother is in the cross fire of this and hates it. So, I get a phone call everyday trying to console my mother who has enough on her plate than deal with the irresponsibility of my 38 year old sister and the people who she choices to surround herself with. She hasn't took any responsibility at all for what she has caused. We don't even know the state of the other people who hit her. She rarely ask how the girls are doing and acts like some spoiled ass princess up at the hospital. Total prima donna. It makes me sick to my stomach. My mother was a nurse and J was also an RN for 25 years. We all shake our head and loath how she treats the staff at the hospital. We also know what it means for my sister as she won't be treated so nicely either. It really puzzles me how anyone can act like a baby being so old. Actually, she is acting like a child.

This accident has brought past resentment to light and I'm working on it. This accident was the icing on the cake with my sister. I also feel if she had to hurt anyone the most I was glad it was her since she caused this. I do know that accidents happen but I have never ran a red light in my life and it could of been avoided. I do understand not paying attention causes accidents. The thing is she should take responsibility for what she has done and be truly sorry and not act like the victim. She victimized four other people and countless others that have to deal with the emotional, physical and finical impact of picking up the pieces. It has took me most of the week not to be so angry as it has triggered other shit also from the past.

I hate drama and dread when my phone rings. I subject myself to the drama of my family because my mother has no one else to talk to about it to. I try to stay out of it and neutral like a therapist would but as soon as I get off the phone I'm a mess and very angry. I vent to J about it. It is getting easier and as time goes on and it will , I deal with the emotion and the past. I move on and live my life. Years of therapy has finally paid off even though I haven't done it in years. I have had to apply the knowledge I do have. It has took me years to detach from my dysfunctional family. Also, moving out of the country has help so much. (lol) I have got to a point it isn't productive to bash my sister or her short comings so I change the subject as it isn't productive to anyone to keep rehashing it. Yesterday, was the first day me and my mother talked about something else . Life does go on and we don't have to be pulled into her drama. I do deeply care and hope she will be OK. But I limit the conversations to only her physical well-being and that's all. I don't need to be worked up over her hot mess of a life. She is what she is and probably will never change.


  1. Wow, I am so sorry to hear about this tragic news! My heart goes out to you and your family. I hate getting unexpected bad news... I think everyone does. My heart just sank for you as I read this post. ***hugs****

    How ironic is this. I was having a nap and waiting for my parents (I'm visiting their place) to come in from outside as my dad was pruning huge trees or something like that and he jumped off a tree into my mom by accident. He broke her wrist. He tells me as I'm waking up, and they're driving to the hospital and I was at their place alone. I have no friends around there or anything, just knowing there was this crisis and my parents were in crisis and going to the hospital before I could even ask any questions. I was an emotional basketcase. I didn't handle it well. I mean, it's nowhere near the tragedy your family faced but I think it's ironic that this week you and I both had that kind of news... right?

    I just really feel for you. *hugs* xo take care ok!! Thinking about you! I hate drama too!!!

  2. How awful Jane. I hope your Mom is OK. Uncertainty sucks and waiting is very stressful. I know I played phone tag and computer tag for a couple of days. I would of hated to be in your postion with the waiting right there. Everyone is doing well now and thank god healing very well. Emotionally too everything is starting to get back to normal.