Monday, March 28, 2011

I felt like a balloon.

I'm up very early this morning. I wanted some time to wake up and drink coffee by myself. I had a weird day yesterday and I'm glad it is over and today is a new day.
I finally decided yesterday to push myself so I wouldn't have any regrets not doing anything. I went out and had sushi and sake. I took a nice walk trying to find somewhere to eat when I found this sushi place. It didn't look like much but it was real nice inside. My head was void of decision and it isn't a place where you want your head void of decision. I was still suffering from a lot of anxiety still. I was handed this over-whelming menu. It was a place where it is all you can eat. You order as much as you want and eat and order more when you finish what they brought to you. The menu had your typical Japense menu from appetizers,entrees, and different types of sushi rolls. I stuck to the sushi and soup. I sat there for awhile eating and thinking. I had mainly butterfish, eel, crab and red snapper. I had some other rolls but I can't think of the names. I also had some real good hand rolls. I ended up eating to much and I ended up bloated and sick for most of the rest of the day. I had the attitude I payed for all this I'm getting my monies worth.
Bad attitude. My stomach doesn't like to be stuffed at all. The night before I had an appetizer of some of these chicken bites that where called snake bites. They really did have a real bite to them. Between spicy and to much , physically I was a mess. I felt so sick and uncomfortable. My body doesn't much care for anything that is from a restraunt anymore. It really hates fried food also as I have been noticing. I really don't fry hardle anything at home or use the amount of salt they use . I don't think my stomach likes cucumber either as it produces so much gas. It seems when I eat out anymore it makes me real uncomfortable and sick. It amazes me how places can make things that are healthy so unhealthy. Also, how everything is processed and ladden with salt. I think I will find a salad tonight. My stomach screams vegetables that are steamed or raw. It says hell no to starch and fried food.

I ended up getting sicker and sicker as the day progressed. I did end up taking a taxi to do some shopping. I made up only shopping at one store. It was a nightmare for me because I was scattered. I was in the taxi and my phone rang. When the phone rang I was taking out my wallet to get the money. I got distracked. I couldn't see I took it out. Got to the place and couldn't find the wallet. I made the taxi turn around and take me back to the hotel. Went in the hotel and couldn't find my wallet. I was in a panic . Went back down to the taxi with a cheque book hoping dear god , hope he will accept a cheque. Looked in the back by my purse and right there was my wallet. I could of died. Get back in and have him take me back again. The price of one fair ended up costing me three cab fairs. Which is all the cash I had on me by the time I tipped him. I thought surely I could find another atm somewhere. I prefer taxi's that accept Visa and Debit. I ended up really rattled by the time I got in the store. At first, I started to walk around like a zombie. I heard a little voice in my head that told me to get it together and shop because I don't generally have the oppurtunity at home. (selection) I ended up a little more focused. I did no impulse shopping at all because I had to stay focused to even shop because of the anxiety. I ended up with crytsal wine glasses, a wok skillet for my bbq, towels and washclothes, and some kitchen utensils. Not real fun things to shop for. I had these awkard bags to carry. I thought I was going to have to walk awhile to find an atm for the taxi. I knew J was almost done with a meeting and driving back to the hotel. I phoned and to my luck J was just pulled in at the hotel. I had J pick me up. It took about 5 minutes to get picked up. I was very happy because when it is 20F and windy, it tends to be cold. By the time we got back to the hotel, I was just totally done with the day. My head felt like it could explode and like it had to much stimuli and overload. My stomach felt like crap and felt like I could explode. I took some anti-acid and anti-gas medication. Laid down. I didn't feel up to going with J down stairs and having a drink. I watched the broken tv and tired to just shut down. At the time I was wishing I was a computer that could reboot. I got it together to be pleasant the rest of the evening. J came back from having an appetizer and a couple of drinks. Informs me that we are moving rooms. I wasn't thrilled. I really didn't say anything. J says don't worry , I will move everything. Then I really didn't care that we where moving. I was just happy it he room right next to us and I for once didn't have to handle my complaints to the front desk and the move. I complained two times to have the tv fixed that day. It was just so nice to have the assertive J back. The postives of reducing meds. It is like I'm getting the person I married back.

It turned into a quiet evening of old movies and sleep. I went to bed pretty early and feel pretty good today. My stomach is back to normal and my head is OK this morning. I will see what today brings.

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