Friday, March 11, 2011

The Smell Of Plastic

I thought I would blog today even though it feels if my brain feels like a marshmellow this morning. I have been going through my morning rountine of coffee, breakfeast etc. I have felt like I have been going through slow motion this morning even though I have got some things done. I have made my shopping list today as there is no way I could remember what to get at the store without one today. Usually, I just make mental list. I even wrote my pen-pal today. It seems like I like to write him on fridays.

I have had to start back on the haldol not long ago. I really hate taking meds and rarely do except when I'm loosing it. I generally do fine without meds. I feel dead on haldol. It isn't such a bad thing when you suffer from psychois from time to time though. I suffer from ol factory halluniations at times. I basically smell things that aren't their. The other day I smelt plastic burning when their was no plastic burning. It through me for a loop as I checked and checked and I just told myself I was insane and took a couple of pills and layed down. I have been fine since. Looking back I could see I was about to come unhinged. I could see every little noise bothered me really bad. I was talking to my mother on the phone and she was chewing something. Not good manners but she was trying to hurry and talk at the same time. It drove me nuts to hear chewing where I usually can ignore it. The other daya I was at a massage and the therapist was chewing gum the whole time and it drove me nuts. I don't really get bothered if I'm not off. Off, is polite for insane. My patient level is not very high either. I was cooking a simple meal of ziti and sauce and about had a melt down. I did though finish it and went to bed. I have been keeping my mouth shut best to my ability with a lot of people in my life. I really don't want to say things that are hurtful that I can't take back.

I feel better today. My head sort of feels empty and foggy but I'm fine. I just wish it would stop raining and snowing. The weather is crazy. I really could use some sun and some motivation that I get from seating outside in the sun. I really don't care how cold it is but I do care if the sun is shining to be able to soak it up. I need the sun for my soul. I have an appoinment to go today. I also hope to get a little shopping done.


  1. hey there buddy. sounds like a rough time for you. sorry to hear it. i hope that writing it out helped - at least a little. meds are tough to deal with. on or off of them. it sounds like you need a little while for them to kick in. it's a shame that these types of meds don't do what they're sposed to immediately. it would be nice if they were like an asperin eh?
    i haven't taken this class of meds but me and anti D's go hand in hand. waiting is the hardest part - but when they work - it's a good thing. i hope you feel lots better very soon.
    just take the next step right in front of you-- and you are.. the rest will follow. i think you've been 'here' before. i'm confidantthat you'll get through it just fine. you know where to find me if you need a shoulder -- or an ear to bend.
    hugs to you --
    i get it - i have been there -- and i get 'you'
    you're not alone - k?

  2. Thanks, Soul. Actually the haldol works pretty fast thankfully. It has been a little bit better today. I have been pretty tired today but happy to take long naps today. I will bend your ear (lol) Thanks again it means a lot to me

  3. glad to hear it-- i spose that class of meds works faster than the others. that's good tho. lots of restrictions tho-isn't there? here's to feelin better and better!
    ps-- have a nap for me-- i'm on the other side-- sleep eludes me lately.