Tuesday, March 15, 2011

The Sun Shining On Me

Daylight savings times has been a little hard on me. I have not adjusted yet. I haven't changed my clocks yet. I probaly will today. The days seem to go so quickly. I had such a nice day yesterday. It was so sunny and bright. I basked in the sun yesterday. Soaking up every little ounce of sun. The lake looked like a skating rink with the ice so smooth. The snow was so white. I could also feel the sun on my face.
I used my Green Egg yesterday also. It was so hard to get open from it being froze up even though I have stored it proper. I ended up dropping down a firestarter down it to make it open. I managed to bbq a steak and a nice feed of different sausages. It was nice to only have to cook one time yesterday.

I sat outside for hours yesterday even though it was somewhat cold after awhile. It was about 0 celsius and 32 F. I ended up playing with Daisy a lot yesterday. It was also nice training oppurtunity for the puppy. Daisy, is about anywhere from 55lb to about 65lbs now. She is almost 6 months. She is a big strong girl. I'm feeling the aches and pains today from rolling her around and chasing her in the snow. The snow is so soft now. We still have from about a foot and a half to two feet left. I just sink in the snow when playing in it. It is very hard to trudge through it. I would say about 2 weeks ago it was a hard crust you could walk on. Much easier to play with the dog and not be up to my hips or knees. Anyways, it was a bright cheery day and I love and cherish my sunny days. I'm also happy that I can be active with the dogs. The older one that is eleven doesn't really like to play.

I look forward another sunny day today. It is going to be a little warmer hopefully. Just a tad warmer. I really don't care how warm it is at the moment. I do care about how sunny it is though. I have to go to the store today and I'm going to make a small trip and not spend the day getting supplies as it isn't going to be sunny all week. I think it has been predicted to rain and snow this week. The weather is really crazy and I so look forward to spring and the thaw ahead. Remind me I said I like a thaw as everything will be muddy and yuck.

The weather is really helping me get through some personal situtations at the moment also. J is going through a major med change and that hasn't been the easiest on either one of us. I think it has been tough for J but will keep on getting tougher. J has probaly over a month of time to go for this major med change. I'm keeping my fingers crossed for the future. It has seemed though in the past none of the med changes has really worked or if they did it was short lived. J has been on meds for about 15 years. Some good years and some very bad years. Our relationship has been strained for sometime and med changes don't make it better. I'm just hoping J will feel better in the long term and that will fix a lot of our problems. It is also a good time for me to focus on what I can do to take care of myself. I'm less resentful when I do focus on what I can do and not worry about J and J's mental health. J has for alongtime been trapped in J's head and not real active at all. It is like pulling teeth to get J to do anything. Somedays, I don't adhere to my own advice but today I can't change anything so I'm just going to accept what is happening. It makes it easier to deal with and less lonely. I have a lovely sunny day to look forward to. I have energy to burn in the sun that makes me less anxious and in a more postive mood.


  1. I'm so glad the sun is having such a positive effect on you. I can relate. I am so thankful the days are getting longer!! :)

    I know it can be hard to live with someone else who struggles mentally. I actually really depend on hubby's stability for my own sanity. If he were not stable or even just if he had an intense personality, it would probably negatively affect my mental health because I seem to take on whatever mood is around me really easily. So I do really consider myself fortunate that he is a constant, easy going, low key, understanding kinda person.

    It also just tells of how patient you are, and the independence you've formed apart from the relationship to move forward personally in the midst of the difficulties you have had, and is really something to be admired. I hope that you are able to continue to enjoy your sunny days and that J does get better with this med change, and that your relationship will only get better. :)

    Jane xoxo

  2. Thanks, Jane. The med change with J is getting better. Still, a long road reducing the ap. After, that to see if their is still a need for the AD. I do see hope though. J is almost back to the person that was active and not so void emotionally and physically. I can see the wheels turning in J's brain again and not so snowed and foggy, void.