Sunday, April 17, 2011


One thing that has been bugging me lately is the lack of concentration. It makes things so hard at times. So usually I opt to do brainless manuel tasks in this frame of mind. When it comes to writing it is so hard and I feel like it is all disorganized and jumbled. I just can't have interruptions at all. I got into an argument with J for interrupting me while writing. When writing in this frame of mind , I get distracted and when I'm interrupted I lose my thoughts.

I usually write out in the living room seating on the couch as it is comfortable. It hurts my shoulders and back less. The draw back is interruptions. Here is an example: "Are you chatting?", "Look at that commerical." the list goes on. It is truly annoying trying to write and be interupted. My bubble thoughts are WTF,you know I hardly ever chat and even if I was, why are you interrupting. Or do you really think I give a shit about what the hell is on television? I would be watching tv if I wanted to see it. I never say any of it but I did blow yesterday about getting interrupted as I have told J don't interrupt when I'm writing. If you see my fingers moving be quiet. I did come up with something to help the interruptions. I will now write in the computer room. I have my distractions there but not as many. I told J if you see me in the computer room don't talk to me period. My writing places will get better once we have better weather . I can write in the camper or the shack. The shack is a little building that is just on the cliff on the lake. It is basically a little shelter that is screened from bugs to enjoy the lake on the edge of our property. Frankly, I think it looks like a produce stand. Very functioning though with a bed, table and chair. No electricity though. Which means less distractions.

Talking about distractions, I was writing my pen pal and I wrote four pages. Got distracted many times writing it. It turned out to be crap. I ended up scrapping it. I will have to go back through the letter to pull out the good ideas if they are any. I will start over again and hope it flows better and my ideals are clear and better thought out. I was going to say well thought out. I haven't thought well in awhile. It is coming back slowly and the weather here isn't helping.

The weather is all over the place here. In fact it is snowing today. I want to scream about the snow and lack of sun light. The weather is the weather and I have to deal with it. We had such a nice couple of days last week with warmer temps and bright sun. That didn't last long. Spring is so unpredictable.Back, to winter weather and raining all this coming week. I felt my mood that was starting to even out go the opposite direction to some mixed hell. I brought out the SAD lamp today and hope that it will help when it will be dark, rainy and miserable. It amazes me though going from yard work and gardening to blowing snow again. That was two days ago. I did a lot of yard work and had a ton more to do. My lower back and shoulders really flared up after that though. I'm so sore. I have been getting up and walking like a little old lady. The weather turning has made a lot of my joints hurt. My knee was throbbing yesterday. I didn't even realize my knee hurts as my shoulders take the cake. I just put some biofreeze on and laid down yesterday. It worked. I also had such a throbbing sinus/migraine thing going on yesterday that made me wish I was died. Which brings me to the point if my sinus are acting up why in the hell is it snowing. I like sleeping with the window half open to let the cold air in and can always tell when it is actually spring because it will make me sick as hell with my allergies.

I'm rambling pretty good now and think I will close. I guess I will have to blog more to convey everything I want to say. I don't feel like proof-reading at the moment as it is a chore and I just want to get this out. I haven't been editing post for awhile now. I'm sorry for that as I know it makes it harder to read.

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