Free Book

Cathy Olliffe-Webster, wrote another book called Friday Girls. The book will be available 

Starting tomorrow, for five days, Friday Girls will be free to download on http://www.amazon.com/Friday-Girls-Cathy-Olliffe-Webster-ebook/dp/B00GI293M0/ref=sr_1_1?s=digital-text&ie=UTF8&qid=1383839900&sr=1-1&keywords=Friday+Girls

The description for this book from amazon is: If Friday wasn't already your favourite day of the week, it will be after you've read Friday Girls. 

Every Thursday night for more than a year, author Cathy Olliffe-Webster sat down in front of her computer and wrote a story for #FridayFlash, an Internet meme that involves some of the finest writers in the world. Stories are written and posted on blogs, where other writers (and fans of their work) can read, enjoy, and comment. It's a friendly, positive atmosphere and it encourages writers to stretch their literary muscles. 

Cathy's stories took on a life of their own and she began to think of them as her "Friday Girls," mainly because they were published on Fridays, but also because they were usually about "girls." 

These are stories that will touch your heart, make you smile, make you cry, make you think. They're just like you, the Friday Girls. They're just like all of us. 

Rant

I have been doing my usual morning routine. Sad lamp etc. I'm finally waking up and just dread the day. I try to go to sleep at night at the earliest time possible to just get the day in.I thought I was depressed but it seems I'm mixed. Meaning :depressed and manic. It is a horrible feeling.

Lately, I have been cleaning and have been on the line of a little obsessive. I was cleaning the windows in side the house and notice the dog really smudged up the outside. I went to clean it. Only problem it was raining so hard . The wind was blowing sideways. I was determined to clean that window. Put on a rain jacket and my shoes and out I went with my cleaning supplies to clean the outside of the windows. I also managed to really clean the kitchen from top to bottom. Very boring. I hate cleaning but it needs to be done,

I was in a funky mood yesterday. I try not to get into it with J but find it impossible not to argue with J lately. It always turns out bad for me because at a drop of a pen J cays and the argument is over. J is just plain lazy and doesn't lift a finger. All J does is watch tv, read and do facebook. I get sick of doing everything. I asked J to go and get something in town because I was busy. The answer was no you have to come with me. That is because J can't get off her lazy ass and walk into the store and get it. I really do everything around the house. Three meals a day, everything. I ask for one simple thing because J is never busy except with facebook or watching the same news feed over and over again. I get anger and you know what the response is. It is going to be a bad day because your being unreasonable with your mood.. My response is it isn't my mood but how you behave thinking Im your servant. J has been milking this sick thing to the max. J has had every test under the moon then some and guess what it is nothing. My theory is J is over medicated. Sick or not I still make dinner and am responsible to get things done. It makes me mad that one person can stick all the work on another person.

I need to figure out how to do something about this situation as I hate all the work heaped on me. In the past I have went on strike but that only hurts me . I still had to clean it up. It doesn't bother J at all to live in squalor either so really if I want a clean home it is all on me. I'm seriously thinking about hiring a cleaning lady twice a month.

What goes up must come down

I`m sitting here drinking my coffee and wondering what to write. It has been awhile since, I have really wrote. I have been manic since probably April or May of this year. I crashed last week sometime. I sleep 12-14 hours a day now. It feels so good to be able to sleep again. It is a relief not to be so hyper anymore.

It is also a relief not to contain my bipolar and hide my moods. It is pretty easy at the moment to be depressed and very mellow. With the depression now , I have started my SAD lamp and started to take vitamin D.

It feels great not to feel compelled to spend money I don`t have. Our mail box was brimming with packages of clothes, movies, games and weird stuff like latch hook rugs and paint by numbers. If you know me I`m not the crafting type. I thought if I could do something with my hands it would calm me down some. The boxes are unopened waiting in my weird logic as something to do this winter.When  I`m bored now or try to stop smoking again. I even tried to stop smoking this summer . It was a disaster. I even thought I would watch one scary movie a day for October. I bought like 15 movies and subscribed to Netflix. I even upped my internet package for the bandwidth. I haven`t watched any Halloween movies really of yet. I`m to tired in the evenings and J just hates my movies. I did though manage to watch a season a season of  Orange is the new Black. I really liked that. That is when our Wii bit the dust. Ordered a new one even though I could just hook the tv up to the computer. Ended up with a new wii that I keep saying I`m going to play the games I have. I have tons of games that I never play but keep saying I`m. Just insert excuse. I ended up hooking the computer up to the tv to watch Youtube. My hdmi cable broke some how and I have to get another one.It broke because it was cheap from some knock off place that sent it to me from Hongkong. I will buy one from a real store this time.

I have been so broke from spending money like it is water and it seems everything needs fixed all at one time. Had to fix the trucks steering and septic tank this month. I`m just happy the psychosis and pressured speech, ideas, etc are at bay. Funny thing , I don`t speak very much anymore. J thinks I'm mad. I had to explain I just have nothing to say. Then J gets it Im not manic talking all the time  about the most mundane things

I`m mildly depressed but have missed so much sleep. I think I`m just catching up. I have done more catching up with the house and my affairs than I have all summer. It feels good to be in a hibernation sort of mood. I even baked bread not that long ago I feel content to hardly do anything.

Green Eggs and Weezie

I rarely mention books on my blog. I would like to tell you about a book I read not that long ago. It is called Green Eggs and Weezie by Cathy Olliffe Webster. It is about a woman that finds out that her husband is cheating on her. She has a bad reaction and ends up in jail for domestic violence. Then it goes through the journey of her piecing back the broken pieces of her life. The book is witty and humorous while tackling  very hard topics of relationships, divorce , and  assault .  I forgot the add how she navigates through the ridiculous criminal justice system.

Cathy also has a blog that I read that is very funny and she is a very gifted writer. Her blog is called Cold Lake Cathy you can find it here : http://muskokariver.blogspot.ca/

Go over and check out her blog then go and buy her book. http://www.amazon.com/Green-Eggs-Weezie-ebook/dp/B00FL7Y27O/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1380901601&sr=8-1&keywords=green+eggs+%26+weezie

Help out a fellow blogger by spending 4 dollars. It  took me an afternoon because it is well written and a page turner.

Update

I'm in a cranky irritable mood. I took down my last post. But for those who read you know a little what has been going on. Yes, I'm still Manic and pretty full blown. Everytime, I say I'm not going to neglect my blog and I do. I have several reason but they are excuses really.

J , has been very sick lately and had to go to the ER about 2 weeks ago maybe 3. It has been a rollercoaster ride with J's health. The thing is she is still very sick and weak. Really don't know what is going on. They possible think she had a mild stroke. Her Blood pressure is all over the place and dangerously high at times. Appointment after appointment.

We had to cancel our yearly vacation also. It was going to be for two weeks at a cabin on an island. I'm very disappointed . I planned this since early spring. The thing is she just doesn't feel well. That is fine but she could of went and let me have a good time. Did I mention that the earth revolves around J. All, I have been doing is waiting on J hand and foot for sometime now and it has got worse.

Right before J got sick I told J I really was seriously thinking about a split or divorce. That I was tired of a sexless marriage and a no touch period relationship. I thought we have became room-mates with me not even having much rights. I still consider J my best friend but after 10 years I'm tired of giving every ounce of me and not getting much in return. I also don't want to be someones caretaker and maid.


J said she would do better but I don't see it. It is pretty lousy to leave a sick person so I'm holding off. I might not leave but we sure do have a lot to sort out if I'm staying.

My irritability is been off the charts and so has been my anxiety at times. It doesn't help that I'm probaly going through a mid life crisis either where I just want to get back to who I once was and I'm really examining my life . What I want and what I certainly can't tolerate.

I have totally lost myself in the past 5 years. I have became reclusive . I have hardly any friends in the town I live in. Believe it or not at one time in my life I was social. My mother the other day said it was like I totally dropped out of society in the past 5 years by moving to Canada. That I let myself become a broken person. I was a little irritated by what she said but it is the truth. My only avenue of anything social has became the computer. (facebook,twitter,blogging and texting) I haven't let anyone in , in a very long time. I have started lately to let people get to know me a little. I have also been more open with my family about what is going on. It is a step.

On a brighter note some of my manic symptoms are going away slowly.

Coming Out Of My Cave

I haven't wrote in two months. So much has happened and not . Some of the past month has been so stagnant. I have been in a dark anxiety ridden mixed mood. It is passing and I'm more or less a little depressed. I'm slowly digging out of my hole.

I have neglected so much in the past two months. I have neglected to really live life and have been just struggling. Every once in awhile I will get a little energy and do daily living and actually feel decent then the overwhelming facts of what a disaster my life hits and I get depressed and feel defeated.

I don't always like going on about the negative and feel whiny even if that is how I feel. I have been very negative and don't want to be a downer.  .Then I remember this is my journal and I can vent as much as I want. I really seem to need to get many things out . My walls have been built up high in the past two months and really haven't shared anything with anyone. I stuff my feelings like big heavy bricks inside me.

My last post was about my plumbing. The update on that is that it is the Septic tank line that needed to be repaired. Still waiting on that repair. The company is busy but so far they did a quick fix to keep it going until they can dig up the yard. Bills have been tight and seems very overwhelming.

Happier news we go see Whoopi  Friday. I booked that trip in the winter. We will be gone one night to see the show and go to the Casino. Not much of a gambler. I usually play about 40 dollars. Casinos trigger something in me. I get real overwhelmed by all the colors and sounds etc. It makes me hyper and I never stay very long. I do like all the different nice restaurant they have at this casino and like seeing a show. Pathetic thing is the show starts at 9pm and I'm generally in bed at that time.We are going to board the dogs . This is the first time they are getting boarded. We used to board our other dogs but we are trying a new approach of a cage free home environment which is more like a camp with activities. One of our dogs used to go for a hour a day at this camp for some socialization as she is down right mental.

Talking about mental dog. Daisy is who I'm talking about. She has really bad social anxiety. We are going to put her on medication for two months and retrain her. The sedative effect should work on her nerves and then just over exposure is suppose to work. Maybe, I can talk to the vet and she can put me on the same sedative and retrain me(lol) I have committed to helping the dog with her issues. I worked some with her this past 4 days when we went to visit in-laws. A little better but her anxiety makes her a hysterical barking mess when she sees people. She is getting just a little better at ignoring stimuli with me on her ass every two seconds flipping her leash and harness with a firm No. Never had a dog with anxiety issues and this is new for me. But I have had a bad dog before that taught me a lot of what to do and what not to do. This dog isn't really a bad dog but has a mental illness.  She gets so caught up with her anxiety she can't think straight and it just balloons into a mass panic attack. Just like people.

 The puppy is now 6 months old. She is still a runt. She is such a normal dog and a delight. The dogs are like night and day. Alice reminds me of what a Golden should be in temperament and attitude. Alice is the smaller one chasing Daisy. They are light in color because they are English Golden Retrievers. I love talking about my dogs as they really make me very happy. They are one of the most positive things in my life and get me out of bed every morning.  I will wrap up and make an effort for myself to write more and not retreat in my cave.

I just need to vent! or bitch!

I'm so something right now. I guess the word is fed up. We have been having a slow running drain. So, I decided in my wisdom to do deal with it on a Good Friday when everything is closed until probably Tuesday. Four boxes of baking soda, several hours of this and Drano and the drains are real messed the f%k up. Flush the toilet now and it backs in the shower. Drain the tub the toilet bubbles. Run the kitchen sink and it is the only thing that drains slowly. I'm literally up shit creek.

While, I'm sweating my butt off with boiling kettles of water and various chemicals J is just happily clicking away of facebook. I say could you getting the fecking dogs out of my way. They are going to get burned by boiling water. Could you possible maybe give me a hand. Oh hell no. The problem is every problem in this house is my problem. Because insert excuse J has . I'm tired and pmsing like nobodies business. Which just makes me more vocal.    J has also been manic as hell. Mouthy out in public . I deal with it by saying please stay in the car. Or go find somewhere to seat out of the publics way. It is embarrassing when a person has no filters out in public and says rude things about children and etc. Even if it is valid which it is most people only have bubble thoughts it doesn't actually come out of their mouths. Top that off with J cutting back smoking which probably triggered this wonderful mood. J has took up a government programme to stop smoking . It last 6 months. It is moving slowly. If I say anything negative about this , I'm not being supportive. So, I keep it to myself. The problem is I have to keep everything to myself. It just stresses J out to hear money problems   , any problem  really. The puppy is also my problem also. The puppy really bonded to me so the excuse is I don't have to do anything because that dog choose you. It is both our dog and both our responsibility.

As, you can see it is just one fight after another lately. I need a vacation away from everybody . I need a break from J also. Will I get one. No. I'm trying to work on an idea to send J to visit J's parents. Leave me for a couple of days to deal with that mess also. It wouldn't be until next month though. It also doesn't help that we are going to probably have to pay for a plumbing problem again. I have so had it with our plumbing and water problems. I think I should own stock in the plumbers company. Over the past 5 years we have replaced a whole water system, all pipes in the bathroom , kitchen also winter related freezing problems in the pump house with busted pipes. Had the whole backyard dug up last year for a busted pipe. That was fun having a backhoe in the backyard and had the whole line dug up. I can hear myself growling in my head. It is like a plumbing gremlin. To be fair everything was real old and just happened to go at a fairly steady rate. No upgrades have been made in 20-25 years.  It doesn't feel any better though having to fork the money out at a fairly steady rate though. It just seems in the past 6-7 years everything has went at once. Get out of one jam get into another. It is just life though. I tell myself that to make it feel better. But really it is just life. Sometimes, life really sucks and isn't fair. The thing is I deal with it and move on. I just was hoping to have an incident free spring.

Pyscho

The other night I was contacted from a close friend that vanished for a year. I had no reason why she vanished. She changed her phone number multiple times. Vanished completely from the Internet . I managed to fin her husbands facebook but would get one or two cryptic messages. I just totally wrote her off and wondered what I could of said or done wrong to end this relationship.

I didn't count on she went off her meds started drining and became psychotic. When I talked to her the other night she was out of it. Talking she was in the CIA and FBI and other things. It made no sense. I talked to her for several hours and she was just so incoherent . It was so circular going round and round. I went with the illogical for 2 hours an finally had enough. I had to go to bed it was 1:00 am way past my bedtime. I was not getting anywhere and finally called her out on not taking care of herself and drinking. I haven't heard from her sense .

I'm not said about it either. I don't care if you take no meds or if you do. You have to take care of yourself and not get to that babbling point. I have been to the babbling point but not with anyone except J and personally the only person I will take to the babbling point also is J. I'm so sorry this person trust no one at all. That is a very sad point. I have always trusted J at my worst and J the same. You have to trust one person when your mental ill and someone that can be subjective. Someone that isn't the enemy. This person is so remote to me and now I'm her enemy  even threatening me because I said in a nice way that she had a chemical imbalance and didn't say insane which I thought. I will probably be stalked. Oh wonderful.

Alice

It is a lazy Sunday morning. The dogs are chewing bones. The cats are sleeping. J is watching a movie. I'm attempting to catch up with blogging after being gone for a month. I have been very busy with the new puppy this last month and just generally depressed but functioning.

I have been sleep deprived trying to house train Alice. She is about house trained. She has learned so much this month. She knows how to sit, stay, come, her name, not to bite and most importantly the word NO. She also has been learning the only thing that should be in her mouth is her toys. She also knows the word give. If I have to take something away from her, I say give and she spits it out. She is a very easy going , intelligent, playful and such picks up on so much.

I forgot how tiring a puppy is and  how they are so much work.  I was fighting depression before the puppy and had to give up my light to have my full eye on her in the morning and out the door with the slightest sign of having to go to the bathroom. She wakes up to go every morning at 4 like clock work. It has got some what better with the bathroom the older and bigger bladder she gets. I'm not putting on clothes as we are going out the door anymore in the freezing winter.

I'm back to my lamp. Someone in the question asked if I like my lamp. I actually hate it because I'm bored with light shining in my eyes making me blind for a half an hour. If I can manage to walk around half blinded or listen to the tv or radio it isn't so bad.  I just try to tell myself it is better than being depressed. I find the only thing good for my depression is when my cycle ends naturally which should happen when it gets sunny and actually spring.

The weather is very depressing. It snows and doesn't warm at all. It has been forcasted to be a little warmer this week and something as sunshine. It has been a very grey winter this year. Grey like my mood for months and I'm looking forward to sunshine and bright days. I have been planning for happier days also. I already scheduled and booked our vacation for 2 weeks this Autumn . Planned a family reunion in the summer. Casino and Comedy show at the end of  May. It is nice to get away for a night. I don't really care for casinos though as they are to busy and triggering for me. I do like them for short amounts of time though. I usually just spend about 2 hours in one and that is my limit. I generally try to just eat , play then go to the show and that is it. I recognize I can be to impulsive with gambling. I will only allow myself to blow 40 bucks and what ever I earn.

I'm starting to ramble. I think I will end now.

Animals ...........

I thought I would blog this morning . It has been awhile. Seems like the only time I blog anymore is when I'm in a mood. I should blog more often when things are normal. I have been trying my hardest to get out of a depression. I have a ton to do and no energy to do it.

We are getting a puppy of all things Saturday. I'm not ready for it and in all honesty probably would never be prepared for one. I have a ton to do before we get Alice. We have had our older dog which is 2 now going to dog daycare for some training , reinforcement, and some of her anxiety problems. She is a shy dog. That has been going well. She goes for a hour every day. We need her ready for this new arrival and not to teach Alice bad behaviour. We are now not letting the dog barge the door and making her wait and stay to be let out. We have let this dog get away with a lot because we have been depressed. Daisy is a good dog but we have been to loose with her manners.  Even though she knows how to behave. We are going over her manners .She likes going to obedience and paying with others. On the other hand I feel like it interferes with my flow of day. I have been making J pick her up because the woman that helps us talks to much and instead of a hour a day it is much like 2 hours a day then add 20 minutes for drop off and pick up. I have a house to get ready for a puppy.

I have been trying my SAD lamp again and it is gradually working. I have to watch out though so I don't get manic. Like any anti-depressant it makes me go up and up and away if it is to much. I have been exercising. It seems to be that winter in a cold environment speeds up your metabolism. I also been snowshoeing that burns 40 percent more calories than anything like walking, jogging or running. The down side is my back hurts so bad. My back has been horrible since I have started again with exercise. I take an over the counter muscle relaxer to get through the pain. I have been sleeping a lot lately also with more exercise. It just makes me so tired. It will even out. I will continue to push through. I need to be able to get my head in the frame of being outside all the time with this puppy. I have started to get in a structured routine before the dog comes so I wont be so out of it. I have been forcing myself to get up and stay up in the morning also. Daisy will sleep anytime but a puppy needs to be on a structured routine.

This new puppy is forcing me out of my rut whether I want to get out of it or not. Cats are so much easier! Except for my little guy Riley. He is now on five drops of eye drops a day to get rid of the  blob in his eye that the virus he had did. He is a delight though and has adjusted very nicely.  

Pissed Off

I had a panic attack this morning. I looked at the bank account this morning and the bank didn't put funds into after cashing out an investment that was suppose to mature today. They eventually did and it was chalked down to a misunderstanding.

But before it could be figured out I was sweating , shaking and a million things where going through my mind. Even after it was settled I was trying hard to calm myself. I just tried to stay busy and distract myself and after about 2 hours I was fine. It doesn't help that I'm pmsing.

To top it off J told me she is sick AGAIN. I seriously wonder how many times a person can be stricken with flu like symptoms. I had to change my dental cleaning today at the last minute because I don't drive. J told me to take a taxi but a taxi from where I live would be a little over 55 dollars round trip. It was cheaper to pay the cancellation fee. I'm pissed. I could of been told yesterday. The woman at the dentist office isn't that nice and isn't someone you would want to call. I actually never want to piss her off as she can get her teeth and claws out. I just hope the rest of my appointments this week I won't have to cancel.

I still have to get the cat's eye checked again and him neutered . I also have a massage that my poor lower back and hip need. I'm getting sick of J being sick all the time. J also goes to the doctor all the time anymore . Nothing ever really gets solved either. I say if you are sick as often as J suck it up. If you can't tell I'm pissed off.

This and That

Wow, how time flies . I really just noticed i haven't blogged in little over a month. The last month and a half has been full of me being sick with the flu and not exciting except maybe me ordering stuff on-line a little to much.

I was sick for about three weeks with the flu. J also had the flu but was way sicker than me. The cats where sick also . Found out the little one was sick with a upper respiratory  infection and gave the older cat that also. He was sick when we got him. His eye is still in a bad state and in the process of still healing . He though has stopped hacking his little butt off and the older one is better. Nothing like dramatic sick cats.They wouldn't eat and we where told to give them anything they could or wanted to eat. I ended up switching the older cat back to dry so she would eat . She lost a couple of pounds and looked like hell. She got what she wanted. The kitten he wanted wet so he got as much wet as he wanted and packed on the pounds. Now they are both happy on dry and not being prima donnas any more .  The vet has been real good about the cost because we got the sick kitten from her. She has only charged us 30 bucks for the two of them and that has only been for meds. She has waived her fee which is generally 70 dollars to see her. Even gave a free shot to the older cat. I think I might have to take the kitten back for her to look at his eye again as it isn't clearing up. His ulcer on his eye is still there. I was suppose to take him in also to get fixed.


I have been so lazy in the past month. Mainly trying to get well again. I have been using the excuse it has been way to cold to go out also and do anything active like my usual winter sports of snow shoeing and cross country skiing . It has been like -21 c or -5 f . Then we have been having what we call January thaws. Where it  melts and causes hell on the snow. The temps get into 7 c to 44 f .  That did that for a week. Some of the temps got all over the place. I don't mind winter. But I do mind the weather being all screwy. One week it is snow and horrible sub temps and one week it is thawing and high temps over and over again. I just want the snow to stick and have regular seasonal temps so I can get out of my cave and do something. I have been threatening to get a life for a month. Don't know when it is going to happen.

I have been spending a little to much lately which is a sign of hypo-mania and mania. I'm being way more careful about it now. Part of me doesn't care. I hate being in a dark depression. Also, just about everything I order we need or I can justify . Especially since I have gained so much weight in December and January. I haven't much worked at me losing weight. I did though stop drinking soda. Getting out of my usual depression a little early helped curb the eating also. I don't feel the need to eat everything sweet and all the carbs in the house. I also replaced all snack food with fruit. I still am working towards wanting to work out again. I think with that I'm going to have to bite the bullet and just exercise. That is a just do it kind of thing and get back into some structure with it. It will also help my chronic pain which has worsened by sitting all the time since my flu. I have got in the bad habit of tv and computer all the time. Good thing I'm getting bored of it.

Lately, I have been bored with many things . It is a good thing though. It will help me get off my ass. Being sick for that time found me in bed watching tv and on the couch. It has also mad me catch up on housework. Talking of the house. Our pipes froze and busted. Our water heater also went out. We thought oh well and just got them fixed. No the universe is picking on me thing this time. Shit happens or I would like to say life happens. It is just expensive when life happens all the time. The good thing about it the water heater was going for awhile and we have such lovely pressure and hot water. It has been such a treat. I even like doing dishes better and I hate dishes.

I have a lot of things to do this week. Mainly, self care things like getting my  teeth cleaned  and massage for my chronic ache. Also, the cat with his eye and getting him fixed. I hope to also maybe be a better blogger also and get back to a routine of posting.

Holiday Let Down

I'm so glad that the holidays are over. I have had my holiday let down or to much of it and had a  little melt- down. Yesterday, without an actual hang-over , I went to bed in the afternoon and woke up in the wee hours of the morning. I think I slept like 10 hours. I also did the same thing the 27th of December where I didn't even try to get out of bed all day and watched TV and just drifted back and forth from sleep.

I read so many blogs. I don't know where I actually read this  but I read it is even common for normal people to get to much holidays and have a let down. Just reading that made me feel a little better about not keeping my mood at a normal scale. I don't know what normal is anyway but try my best at doing the things normal people do during the holidays even if mine where excessive this year. I really tried my hardest to be "normal".

I have scrubbed the house of any decoration or reminder of x-mas except for some candy that I need to put up. I also downloaded a book during the x-mas season on losing weight. From Fat to Fit: How I lost 100 lbs. by Alyssa Reyans. I suggest you join her mailing list as I got this book for free. www.AlyssaReyans.com It is only 3.00 though if you had to purchase it. She also suffers from bipolar and survived many forms of abuse. I suggest to check out her books and web-sight.

Have no idea why my font has changed. I think I will start the book this week-end. I really need to get serious about losing about 20lbs. I just need to be healthier and I think this book might help. A lot of just getting off my ass would help also. I have never been this big and I don't like it. I also hate my clothes being tight. Winter is hard but it is harder for me not being active and puts me more into a rut. My excuse yesterday for not taking a walk was it was to cold. I just need to bundle up and not be so lazy. I also have that treadmill that I bought a year ago that isn't assembled yet. On my list to do this month. I did manage to hook up and assemble everything that was bought for x-mas this year.  Even called out the cable guy to hook some HD box up and clear everything in the bedroom to put the old standard tv out in it. The bummer is nothing works now with the HD tv. I have had to order cords that will make it work. I had to look that crap up on You-tube. It about wracked the little brain I have left. I'm still waiting on the hook-ups that should be here today or tomorrow. Also, saved a lot of money on hdmi cables as they say their is no need to buy anything that cost over 15 bucks and the stores charge from anywhere from 35-over a hundred. I know a lot of people have already moved in the 21st century with HD tv but I haven't until now. It makes me feel old with new technology . I do manage though. Also got rid of our old tv and microwave. Not letting the old junk sit around till I feel like doing it. It has been a work out for my back though. It hurt pretty good around x-mas to present moving dressers and old big tv's and also hauling out the old. It is times like those I wish for a huge burly man to do my bidding. I often thing when I haul out the old to send J to the dump by herself as they always help her. If I'm with J they look at me like it is my problem dumping anything. I seen another lady just bat her eyelashes and get the whole back end of her truck unloaded while  I lumped all the trash and appliances by myself. It leaves me a little bitter at times. But not bitter enough to grow my hair out , bat my eyelashes and wear skinny jeans.

Anyway, time to take a shower and get ready to take the kitten to the vet. Maybe, venture to the grocery store today as I'm craving tons of veggies.

New Year

December was a month of gluttony. I gained 10 pounds and my stomach feels a mess with all the crap I have made and ate. You name it I have ate candies, chocolates ,cheeses, anything rich you can imagine. I have been cooking up a storm also. I cooked so much food over the month of December you could of feed a family of 6 and it is just 2 of us.

I spent so much money in December. All, justified of course. Well in my warped mind anyways. Enough to make me sick as money has been tight but hell just use credit and investment income. I was doing better juggling up till December and it all went to hell. Back again to a money diet. It really didn't help that things broke down left and right in the year of 2012.

Managed to keep myself plenty busy in December just to get through it. Even got a brilliant idea to get another cat right before Christmas. My reasoning is 2 cats make company as 2013 I want to do more camping and travelling.  We usually take our cat every where with us and I'm tired of bringing the cat with us every where. Well, the older cat hates the kitten. Scratched it's eye pretty badly and we have to take it to the vet tomorrow. Oh, how I love vet bills. The cats have made the house a total circus with them eating each others food and flipping attitudes. The dog just stays out of it thank-god. I feel like a farmer tending to the live stock in the mornings . Each animal on a different diet. It has kept me on my toes though and it is getting better. I also started my search to get the dog out of her social anxiety which has worsened with the death of Brett. We are enrolling her into a dog daycare that knows of the dogs issues. I want to travel this year without a pack of animals this year and this is a first step. For 2 years we have been taking the animals every where since Brett couldn't have shots because of liver issues and it has totally sucked taking them everywhere with us. It has made me want to pull my hair out travelling with 2 barking dogs and a meowing cat. It will be nice being free of them. I will take the dog camping though. I always hated taking the cat though. Our cat has travelled more than most people. She has been travelling all over the states and Canada. All over Ontario also. She is an old hand in a hotel or motel.  Well now she has a companion to keep her busy at home and I have to look into pet sitters to come in and feed the cat's.

Well, back on track from my ramblings. My only hope for this coming year is to have a little more hope  and look at life different so I can be happy. I don't wish or want much. I do want to be healthier and will be because it is going to be a process than a crash diet. I want to do more and be more active. I look forward to having more travel experience's as in the past it has made me happier. I just got to get back to what makes me happy. Wishing you all a Happy New Year.