I have been doing my usual morning routine. Sad lamp etc. I'm finally waking up and just dread the day. I try to go to sleep at night at the earliest time possible to just get the day in.I thought I was depressed but it seems I'm mixed. Meaning :depressed and manic. It is a horrible feeling.
Lately, I have been cleaning and have been on the line of a little obsessive. I was cleaning the windows in side the house and notice the dog really smudged up the outside. I went to clean it. Only problem it was raining so hard . The wind was blowing sideways. I was determined to clean that window. Put on a rain jacket and my shoes and out I went with my cleaning supplies to clean the outside of the windows. I also managed to really clean the kitchen from top to bottom. Very boring. I hate cleaning but it needs to be done,
I was in a funky mood yesterday. I try not to get into it with J but find it impossible not to argue with J lately. It always turns out bad for me because at a drop of a pen J cays and the argument is over. J is just plain lazy and doesn't lift a finger. All J does is watch tv, read and do facebook. I get sick of doing everything. I asked J to go and get something in town because I was busy. The answer was no you have to come with me. That is because J can't get off her lazy ass and walk into the store and get it. I really do everything around the house. Three meals a day, everything. I ask for one simple thing because J is never busy except with facebook or watching the same news feed over and over again. I get anger and you know what the response is. It is going to be a bad day because your being unreasonable with your mood.. My response is it isn't my mood but how you behave thinking Im your servant. J has been milking this sick thing to the max. J has had every test under the moon then some and guess what it is nothing. My theory is J is over medicated. Sick or not I still make dinner and am responsible to get things done. It makes me mad that one person can stick all the work on another person.
I need to figure out how to do something about this situation as I hate all the work heaped on me. In the past I have went on strike but that only hurts me . I still had to clean it up. It doesn't bother J at all to live in squalor either so really if I want a clean home it is all on me. I'm seriously thinking about hiring a cleaning lady twice a month.
My man and I are both slobs but he wants a clean house and so do I. We can't afford a house keeper right now but when we can I too will have someone come twice a month to do the things we fail miserably at. You are not alone on this. Unfortunately, I am the bigger mess but I am trying to improve when my moods are well. I need to learn to persevere even when in a funk. But it feels like such a big task. Keep me updated if you figure a solution.
ReplyDeleteIn the Pink
well, you are trying to do your best - so that much is good. and ranting is good. i don't have time to read much to get caught up -- but i can tell ya this much .. i visited your blog first in my attempt to get back on track. :)) so write, rant , and take care of yourself.
ReplyDeletei actually blogged a bit - and am hoping to keep it up this time.
see ya round --
if ya get bored and some time, you could look for me a sad lamp -- in or around DFW TX ?? :))
later bebe `
happy day to you
A good rant is good for the soul.
ReplyDeleteI admire your honesty. Just come out of a two month fog & feel I can think & see properly. Am going to an exercise class to get me some happy endorphins..
Found you by doing a spot of blog hopping this morning x