I don't know what direction, i'm going with this entry. One of the reasons I haven't been writing more is my mind is all over the place. It is really hard to pin point it down to one topic. I guess knowing myself... I named this blog ramblings. I'm very capable of rambling from one subject to another. I'm more unfocused today than even yesterday. I'm not really in a bad mood or good mood either. I'm just in a space that is trying to move to something more concrete. I'm caught in a mist of an mixed mood and physical pain. What an interesting mixture. My brain at the moment has a hard time coming up with the words to put down. They fly through my head but trying to really pin point anything is hard at the moment.
Today, is a little harder than most because my shoulder is acting up so is my rhomboid muscle. I guess that muscle holds the scapula together. It can get aggravated by being behind a desk all day or using a computer. I thought I was going to die yesterday getting the trigger point rubbed out yesterday. I had a new therapist yesterday and DAM it HURT. I told her that I could take a lot of pain. Well, I feel beat up today. I could barely tolerate it yesterday. I can take a lot of pain and generally am rewarded by it feeling so much better. I thought she could put me through the table yesterday. I'm a big girl also. Tall,big boned, and somewhat over weight. It is hard to manhandle me. I never was into gentle anyways but after that experiance I could imagine she had a box of whips somewhere. I could barely move this morning. I'm better this afternoon as I have moved around more. I'm back to a heating pad and over the counter muscle relaxers to get some relief. I have drank so much water in the past two days also. I feel like a camel filling up. Actually, I don't mind drinking all this water as I feel much more hydrated than I usually do. I didn't realize that most of the time I would be dyhradated. I just feel a general malasie. I have had a nagging head-ache all day also. It makes me somewhat cranky to be in pain.
I was doing so good with getting things done around the house in the past week also. It has been slow but I have been getting back on track. I will get back on track tomorrow. My body says rest so it is going to be rest. I was feeling so postive yesterday that I actually went to storage and got a few things. I got my snowshoes, breadmaker, and some more winter clothes. I couldn't get the back open on the truck as it was froze shut. I would of got my cross country skies out. I don't think I'm going to be skiing anytime soon but I was hopeful in a week or two. Snowshoeing is basically just walking so I can do that. It is really a low impact exercise but wonderful cardio. It also burns about 400-900 calories. I could use that. I have been sitting on the couch mostly all winter either from my mood or physical pain and I'm going stir crazy being in the house. I also really love photography and haven't took a picture in months. I actually put my little camera in my pocket just in case. That is a good sign to me. Even though I didn't take a picture yesterday. Nothing really caught my eye. I have had little passion for anything in the past year due to mood or personal problems. I find my heart is less broken though so it is good.
The girls birthday was the other day. I cried and moved on. I miss them very much but life goes on. Last year was wrought with so much turmoil and it is finally getting back to somewhat normal. I never made much of a resolution this year but it was to take better care of myself and I'm doing it.
I don't want this post to be a novel so will talk about some of these things later.