Friday, May 27, 2011

I absolutely hate PMS

I absolutely hate PMS. I become another person mentally once a week once a month. Never fails me and works like clockwork. I become more mental than ever. I even pretty much can predict my not so regular periods by my mood and outlook on life.It really is amazing what PMS can do to a person. My head is mush. I can hardly string sentences together lately much less remember how to spell. It is very frustrating. I have so many ideas spinning in my head during this time of month. This time of month I try not to even go into public. I'm impatient, irritable etc. I can't deal with the public very much as I think at this time the general public can go get bent. They bother me. Especially in the area where I live. After an outing my blood is boiling. I can go from helping an old man get an item off the shelf to wanting to rip someones Else's head off for congesting an isle.

I become neurotic,paranoid,insecure, and sometimes psychotic. I have tried to address PMS in so many different ways over the past. Short of getting it all yanked out. I have tried ever method under the sun. I just accept that part of my life that I might be a lunatic for a week whether it might be mild or severe. Amazing enough I do remember one time my mood was so stable and that was when I was pregnant and also breastfeeding years and years ago. No period and I was a half way normal person. I 'was very lucky the whole time I breastfeed I didn't have the dreaded curse of my period or moods for the most part. I even had Endometriosis real bad in my late twenties. I was prescribed lupron shots that was suppose to make me stop ovulating which then in turn would decrease hormones and cyst etc and allow swelling go down. The shot induces temporary menopause. I was one of the few on the shot that actually still had a period. I'm special like that (lol) If a medication has a rare side-effect or my body isn't suppose to accordingly act like it says on a medication I'm that blessed one percent or ten percent of people that experience's the not so pleasant side effects. My body doesn't like being poisoned by medication of very harsh substances. That didn't even fix PMS. It did though shrink my ovaries like it was suppose to. It also manage to give me horrible menapause symptoms and a period every month. Remember , I'm special like that (lol) I regress and loose my train of thought.

Back to PMS and period. This month is tolerable. My head is spinning like a record though. Insomnia is not my friend and would love more sleep. I would also love not to ramble. I don't like having to isolate myself either whether it is by choice or part of me being agoraphobic (insert label any neurotic label here) . I hate this time of month. I can get the bag of labels out and probably label many psychiatric conditions this time of month. I generally don't though because most things go away or come down to an acceptable level. Until probably next week I will hide out or have minimal contact with the outside world and try to keep my mouth shut.

1 comment:

  1. I know what you mean about feeling so *argh* that you are nervous about going in public!!! If I know I'm irritable, I definitely don't want to cross certain people's paths. I only want them to know my good side. That probably makes me sound really superficial. But I know lots of people and I only want a few people to really "know" me.. you know? Plus I'm no party when I'm in the shits. My mom always said "Everyone loves a happy Jane!" lol

    My recent temper tantrum, was when I found out the news about the house being for sale, but also during PMS!!!! So I know I'm affected by it. I keep thinking, no point in having kids, or I desperately want kids. Since I can't decide, I'm not really trying/not trying. It hasn't happened in the last year and a half so I feel I'm destined not to have them anyway. But hey, maybe if I did get pregnant, maybe that would be the end of my hormonal psychoticness too... maybe I could even go off all my meds??? Hey then maybe I'll just try and produce babies on a regular basis, stay sane, and, take on a job of surrogate motherhood?! lol!! I'm totally joking.

    You are special. :) Loosing trains of thought is one of my favourite parts of blogging. Your words can fly like the wind! Its a beautiful concept really. Maybe I am saying this to rationalize how I feel that I ramble on, as you say you do (although I don't think you ramble).

    OH I dare you to throw that bag of labels away, girl!!!!!!!
    I have discovered that life is much easier if you pretend you don't have any! :)