Friday, August 27, 2010

A Ghost from the Past

I had a funny experience. I logged on to facebook yesterday with a request from a person . I thought I didn't know her . I did , it was someone that I went to High school with. I have no old high school people on my facebook except one other person. I did sort of stay in touch after high school with that person. I was surprised that she found me. It isn't the easiest thing to find me on facebook with all the privacy controls and stupid picture I use. I use a lemur for a pic. I about laughed when she asked me what I have been up to in 20 years. I laughed and said a lot has went on in twenty years. She wanted to know. I let her hear the good things but never really told her about anything else. I really don't know this person anymore. I just declined to say well I have went totally crazy in the past 9 years . It isn't as bad now. Who wants to hear you have been scooped up in a butterfly net and locked up more times than you can count on your fingers. It made me aware that at one time I had a picture perfect life to the outsider looking in at one time. Well it was never perfect nor does it look so hot now. It also amazed me after not talking for twenty years how one person could ask why I got a divorce 8 years ago. I was asked what happened. Why does anyone get a divorce. I never answered that but the dude was a real ass hat. Very emotionally abusive and I had enough. It might of also been because I'm a lesbian. I don't want old friends looking me up so I have to come out of the closet again. I still guard that fact about myself . I hope she can look at the pictures and figure it out herself. I don't think in a million years anyone could of figured out that I would become a lesbian.
I fought for many years to like my life and just want to forget about all the shit that happened in Highs cool. Or many other times in my life. My life is good now and I plan to keep it that way. I have worked my ass off to get to a place where I like myself most days. It hasn't been easy.

1 comment:

  1. Good for you. I often wonder why the people who said six words to me in high school now want to be my friend on facebook. I wondered why, after twenty years, they bothered being nice at our 20th high school reunion five years ago. My wife asked me why I wanted to go, since I hated my high school years. I told her point blank that I wanted all of those people who thought I'd be nothing to see how successful I am. I am an out lesbian, so I wanted to show her off as well. I guess we'll never know why someone does anything.