I had such a chaotic day yesterday. It was so frustrating . It started when J woke up psychotic. Which I try to ignore as much as possible not to trigger her more and just try to stay out of the way until J says or does something really over the top. That is when the phone rings and it is my mother. Nothing ever goes well with planning anything with my mother. We have been planning the trip of my daughter to come and see me this summer. Sounds, easy but it isn't. She calls and says she doesn't see the price of ticket that I see and the ticket she sees is about 400.00 more. I get on my computer and do a search and yep my price is right. I ask her what airport code she is using and hers is wrong. The complex part of getting the ticket is my daughter is 17 and you can't buy a ticket without airlines consent unless your 18. 17 is considered a child. It is very stupid to me but the rules are the rules.
I tell her to call the travel agency to book the flight with the flight number and pay the extra booking fee because it is so much easier than trying to figure out what airline she can fly etc. I will pay the extra 25 bucks to avoid the hassle. I don't want to use my credit card anymore so I tell her to pay for it and I will send a cheque. She books it and everything and then the trouble begins. She can't find K's passport. The ticket has to have the name it has on the passport. My mom calls me back and says she can't find K's passport. We both about freak because K is so scatterbrained. Never puts anything up , loses everything. My mom booked a non-refundable flight.
That is when the anxiety kicked in. Also, in the background J is every so psychotic and when I'm not watching takes a shower etc. Fine one would think but then I go into the bedroom and ask J why are you naked and why are you in bed. I get the most bizarre answer. "I took a shower to get ready for my death" Puzzled , I ask have you done something to yourself? "No, I just feel like I'm dying and I'm saving Hugh (Funeral guy) the effort of washing my body" I respond you do remember when someone dies they shit and piss all over themselves so really they would have to do that again you know. I get some clothes out of the draw and say put these on and come out of the bedroom. I don't trust you alone with how your acting. I wait and go to the kitchen where J's pills are . I take out one of her anti-psychotics and wait for J. I said here take this , you really truly are bonkers today. J acknowledges it and takes the pill. We go back to talking about my mother and daughter and how crazy the both of them are.(lol) It distracts J until the pill kicks in. I ask is there anything I can do for you . I know the pill has kicked in because I'm asked for a huge piece of pie. Serqueol tends to give people the munchies. J eats the pie and retires to bed for most of the day.
While, I put the fire out there the anxiety is kindling in my chest to full blown anxiety attack. I really try deep breathing. I tell myself BREATH. It helps some. I call my mom back and bitch and bitch about K's irresponsibility. I also bitch that my mom knows better than to book that damn flight without passport in hand because by now K's forgetfulness has been noted on many occasions etc.
Hang up try to text K but K isn't responding and isn't responding to her voice messages from my mother either. K finally picks up and gets an attitude with my mother for asking where in the hell is her passport. She responds she doesn't know. Maybe, it is at her fathers. That is when both me and my mother think oh shit. If it was he is such a asshole petty vengeful man he would just say it is lost because he doesn't want her to come and see me anyway. I have the scenario that she will have to reapply and that would be such a nightmare as it was the last time she first applied because of asshole ex's permission etc.
I call back and decide to let go of all this drama. I said if she can't find her passport I'm not going through the passport process again. We will try to pay a fee to get that ticket cancelled some how some way. I just can't do this and all this anxiety producing crap.
A hour later the passport was found and the ticket was fully booked. J was fine for the rest of the day even if J was a zombie. Which was better than J being a threat to J and others. Watched some tv and then went to bed myself. Laid in bed trying not to relive the day and have my thoughts all over the place. Do some focusing on the tension in my body and let the tension go. Boom fell asleep.