NI trying to do my morning routine. Dogs done, coffee made and checking around the net has commenced. Now I'm blogging with my light on. I have had a massive head-ache or something for the past couple of days. The light makes the head-ache worse so when I have a head-ache I don't do the light therapy. My sleeping lately has been so messed up. Insomnia is something to behold. I have been sorting it out . I just feel so lousy up and down all night. I finally had a nice nights sleep. The things the experts say about sleep pretty right on. Also, just knowing in time I will get on a better sleep schedule is good. I caught out the caffeine in the evening also. I need to add more exercise also to get a nice deep sleep. I take nothing to sleep except the occasional melatonin supplement which works nicely for me at times. Nothing lately though except sleep depriving myself to a schedule , nice sleeping area, nothing busy at night, and I can't think right now about the others. I have also got back on my vitamin regime. I have been on it faithfully for about a week and I feel a little better. I have also started eating more well balanced meals. I know eat 4 small meals a day and try to get all my hydration also. Nutrition is so important for mental and physical health.
As for a plan , I don't have one wrote out yet. I really to be truthful don't know what I want from life. I have some basics like feeling better and things like cleaning up the place and organization. Overall though I don't know what is being realistic. I will have to divide the house up to conquer it. I know I need to get a more concrete plan but right now I'm just barely living. My concentration is shit. My head is all over the place and gradually settling down. I have a hard time staying on one task and breaking down even the smallest steps lately. I feel like a non multi-task. I was making homemade chicken strips the other night and something so easy was just making me a nervous hot mess with the dog trying to get my attention. I mumbled to Daisy the puppy , that I couldn't chew bubble gum and walk . Basically. I had to yell for J to get the puppy away from me so I could focus. I feel when I'm in this mixed mood of muck I have to communicate that I can't focus at all or I look pretty petty and grouchy. I just can't have any distractions when I'm doing something right now and have to have tunnel vison to get anything done. I'm getting things slowly done will have a plan . My head drifts so much lately and it isn't all a bad thing. When you think about so much , you don't fixate one one trivial thing or focus on something bigger. Like my cat has been missing for a week. I have now lost hope to get her back. I have done reward posters,newspaper ad, contacting the humane society, a radio lost and found on the small local radio station, looking for her and calling neighbours. I miss her but I'm not going into more of a down-ward spiral for the cat either. My mind is all over the place lately and as it shoots around like a pinball, I get glances of all the areas of my life until I turn on TV and drown it all out with dribble. Will try sometime this week to update my ramblings with something more concrete .