I have started my morning routine. I started by letting the dogs out and feeding one and waiting to feed the puppy later since she is on a schedule. I have been enjoying my coffee and my cancer sticks. Planted my butt in the computer chair with my SAD lamp. I also have been enjoying my solitude in the morning. I love having my own time alone and it is great. I can do what ever I like. I'm listening to music and enjoying the 80's on XM.
It is a new day and I already feel better about J for a fleeting moment. I remind my self that I have to accept somethings about J. We all have our moments and the things I can't accept like the lack of her doing anything. If it is important to me , it falls on my lap. The more that I have been thinking is that, I need more space. I will get it when ski season approaches. I will go to the local cross country ski club by myself for a breather. I was thinking last night I need to blow off some steam as I'm getting to my boiling point. I need to exercise more and do less picking up. I will take a walk today and get some things done to escape. Anger is real good as a motivator to get things done. Then I will escape in the book I'm reading. I found a real good series. It is the Sookie Stackhouse series that they made True Blood into.
On a better note I started my x-mas shopping. I ordered my daughter a laptop, carrying bag, mouse and Microsoft Office. Now eleven gifts to go for the other people on my list. At least I have it in my head what everyone is going to get and it is budgeted out. I really don't like Christmas btw. I could be happy if it never happened . I feel the Holiday season is over rated and is very stressful with unrealistic expectations. I'm just happy I can celebrate it at home without anyone except J. It is less stressful that way. I don't even know if I will decorate this year. Call me the Grinch.