Thursday, November 18, 2010

Marching On

I have started my morning routine. I started by letting the dogs out and feeding one and waiting to feed the puppy later since she is on a schedule. I have been enjoying my coffee and my cancer sticks. Planted my butt in the computer chair with my SAD lamp. I also have been enjoying my solitude in the morning. I love having my own time alone and it is great. I can do what ever I like. I'm listening to music and enjoying the 80's on XM.

It is a new day and I already feel better about J for a fleeting moment. I remind my self that I have to accept somethings about J. We all have our moments and the things I can't accept like the lack of her doing anything. If it is important to me , it falls on my lap. The more that I have been thinking is that, I need more space. I will get it when ski season approaches. I will go to the local cross country ski club by myself for a breather. I was thinking last night I need to blow off some steam as I'm getting to my boiling point. I need to exercise more and do less picking up. I will take a walk today and get some things done to escape. Anger is real good as a motivator to get things done. Then I will escape in the book I'm reading. I found a real good series. It is the Sookie Stackhouse series that they made True Blood into.

On a better note I started my x-mas shopping. I ordered my daughter a laptop, carrying bag, mouse and Microsoft Office. Now eleven gifts to go for the other people on my list. At least I have it in my head what everyone is going to get and it is budgeted out. I really don't like Christmas btw. I could be happy if it never happened . I feel the Holiday season is over rated and is very stressful with unrealistic expectations. I'm just happy I can celebrate it at home without anyone except J. It is less stressful that way. I don't even know if I will decorate this year. Call me the Grinch.


  1. i so could have written this post myself !!!! all the way from the morning routine-- to the bein the grinch ! funny we are so alike in some things-- but yep-- very much me in here.
    i call the alone with the cigs and coffee -- the 'smoke n choke.' i can wipe out a whole pack of cigs and a pot of coffee befor noon on some days. no not braggin-- it'll kill me one day. but like the song -- if it makes you happyyyyy--- :))

  2. Coffee and Smokes are part of a food group! I would love to stop but can't imagine living without smoking. I wish the coffee would kick in today. Two pots and not even much of moment here.

  3. boy i feel ya today -- i'm smoke and choked all the way out-- and already time for a nap! ugh. i refuse to give in tho. i must find some energy sometime soon, and prepare to be back down for several more days soon. rhizotomy #2 on tuesday. haelP meeeee.
    have a good day eh? :))