Sunday, May 9, 2010

I have been trying to get it together lately. The other day I spent it taking care of the yard and trying to thicken it with seed and fertilizer. I even planted 45,000 wildflower seeds for shade in part of the back yard that has a lot of shade. I planted everything in the rain. All the racking and what not made my back ache pretty good. I was real emotional that day also so I wonder if my back wasn't worse from having a build up of all this emotional baggage I have. I decided I need a massage so I went for a massage yesterday and she got most of the soreness out and I have felt better. I also got some Chinese chicken noodle soup for the soul. It was a nice lazy relaxing day while it snowed yesterday. It was weird to see pollen and snow on the hood of the truck. .
It has occurred to me I need to take the bull by the horns and slowly get to where I want to be and seating on the couch isn't going to help. I called about scuba diving classes and I'm thinking about that. I will also get my butt back to the gym as it helps the most with my moods and especially with blackfly season going on. I also need to have more patients when it comes to service around here . I'm dying to get the mower back to manicure my lawn to cut down on some of the bugs around here. I have never been religious but I need to get some of my spirituality back that keeps me at peace and do some meditation again. I need some peace of mind as mine is starting to crack some. I really know I need to step it up when my mind starts backfiring. I have been eating more healthy with tons of vegetables, taking vitamins, trying to get out more and hoping to exercise some of that anxiety away. I need to think more positive even though I don't want to but negative thinking has never got me anywhere. Most of all I need to stay busy and not bored. My idle mind gets me into a ton of trouble. Now I will search for things to not keep me so idle and hope this weather cooperates

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