I have been mild depressed for about 2 weeks and lack motivation to do anything.I have been lucky to force myself even if I don't feel like it. I don't know how long being able to force myself to do something will last but for now at least I can have fun once I force myself.
My ski trip turned out wonderful and I'm glad it was booked or I would of not of went. I did come quickly to the decision that I needed to diet and exercise more than ever when 2 hours totally wiped me out. I would have been much more enjoyable , if I was in a little better shape. I didn't think anything would give me such enjoyment as I was feeling bland and indifferent at the time. I felt overwhelmed with a sense of accomplishment and feeling exhausted in a good way. I have never been downhill skiing until last Tuesday. I was a little fearful and tense as I had it in my mind it was harder than it was and the possibility of injuring myself. I didn't injure myself or was it hard. It was a little hard because of position of being bent . I was using so much of my lower body . (Calf's & Knees)
When I came back home I have been tired. I'm tired emotionally and physically. I decided to go on a diet and start exercising as I really enjoyed skiing and found that I want to do it again next month. I stopped all soda beverages yesterday. My head has been a little fuzzy doing that. I also stopped all unhealthy snack food also. I went grocery shopping about two days ago and only bought healthy options. Mostly, I bought fresh vegetables and picked up some more lean meat at the butchers to supplement what is already in the freezer. I'm not to wild about this but neither am I that wild about being overweight. I decided this is going to be a total lifestyle change as my weight fluctuates like my mood. I hope I can be consistent with this. I know it will take some time and I will probably not be perfect about it all the time. I have yoga DVDs and other DVDs so when I don't want to go out I can still exercise. I'm also doing squats and calf exercises at home everyday.
I just wish I could feel something besides indifferent about it. I guess it is my mood and when I feel the results mentally and physically maybe I will feel better about a better lifestyle. Before, I even decided to do this I felt indifferent except when I was skiing as it was pumping my adrenaline. I'm thinking I need more things to get the excitement level up as that is when I only feel something besides it would be nice to lounge around and numb out on television. I'm going to try to push myself more and find away around this mood. I do know the bright sun has been helping very much lately and we have it forcasted that it will last about two more days. I need to take advantage of it and put off anything else until it is over. I have so much house chores to do sometimes I feel guilty for doing what I probably need to do to take care of myself. I need to get outside and really bask in the sun to get me some much needed vitamin D. Trudge and Trudge over that hump is what I tell myself.