I love the morning. It is so quiet in the house except for the occasional meow or dog wanting to go outside. It is my time of day. I have no demands at all this time of day. I have actually missed my early morning routines. I started to watch murder mysteries with J instead of going to bed early.
When the day officially begins is when J wakes up. It is loads of pills, breakfeast, coffee and anything J wants and of course the tv starts. The blasted tv is on usually for hours. I have started to really hate the tv with a passion. It is so dismal. I usually clean, cook and wait on J, watch tv, go to appointments, and occasionally have my own appointments.
Yesterday, was one of those days that I had an appointment of my own. I had an appointment for my feet yesterday with my massage therapist. My feet are really bad lately. My tendons are flared up and I have muscle that tries to adhere to places where it isn't suppose to be. , Plantar issues are some of my issues with my feet also. Anyways, I went for a half and hour to get my scar tissues busted up in my feet. Not fun but worth it. I don't drive so I had to have J take me. This is a nightmare for J to take me anywhere. All I heard how she had to seat in the truck for a half and hour. How horrible that is and etc. The day before I had to leave the house at 9 in the morning for her doctors appointment so I could push her wheelchair but never did I bitch about it. It is a nightmare getting everything ready for a morning appointment. I wont schedule an appointment until the afternoon . I heard about my appointment for hours yesterday like I was going on a vacation for pleasure of something. It is terrible to ever have an appointment of my own.
J was psychotic yesterday. I dread those days. I can just look at J and say anything and J burst into tears. I can say anything and J gets angry and rageful. I can also say nothing and the rage boils because .... I haven't guessed or conjured my crystal ball for the right thing or answer . I forgot to add how really screwed up the thinking and hallucinations can be. J is bipolar also. It is a curious combo when you have a very sick mentally ied and physically ill person to take care of. It just drives me up a pole some days. Most days , I just ignore the verbal diarrhea that comes out of J's mouth. Some days, I tell J off and confront the illogical thinking. Yesterday, I tried to ignore it . Didn't work. I confronted it and by golly somewhere in the recesses of that dark brain of J's she took extra anti-psychotic. It wiped J out enough to sleep.
I have not a clue what today holds . I can guess it probaly won't be goood. It will start with the usual demands , then shit will hit the fan because I have no mushrooms for mushroom omelets. I was to tired yesterday to pick some up. Oh , I will pay for that with, J grumbling about mushrooms until I go to the store. Thinking about how unreasonable J has got is tiring. I feel like the maid. The help. It does get old.