I'm here sitting waking up. The coffee helps somewhat to form my thoughts. I'm jumbled with all kinds of information and I'm having a hard time making it into coherent thought. Basically, my brain is tired. My mind has been very busy lately. I'm a goal oriented person believe it or not. Give me a project and boom , I get it done. Somethings in life are just not projects and it throws me a little, till I rework it , in my mind to be like a break down of a list. A simple to do list .
At this moment , I play a lot by ear. Plans can be interrupted at anytime. Plans can be hard. It is just not as easy as getting packed to go somewhere and going. J is disabled now and it takes a lot of work. When I plan something it has to be totally handicap accessible.
My point, we went to see Chelsea Handler show at a casino. It took planning. I had to spend extra money to put insurance on the tickets. I ordered them back in February. I had to book a refundable hotel room . I had to make sure it had a room also that we could access. I had no idea when I booked everything if J would be died or alive. Or mostly, if J would be well enough.
We had a awesome time seeing Chelsea Handler. It was a riot. We laughed so much. We for a moment where best friends again. No arguing or bickering. I even forgot the tickets in the room . Nothing would cause irritation and it was as next to perfect. We took a real limo over to the show from the hotel. They provided an out dated limo . It is hilarious. We felt like we where old pimps getting out of the huge white retro limo. Except, I had to go back in the huge retro limo to get the tickets. I left J in her wheel chair outside the casino.
We made it to the show. The worry where to put the wheel chair ended when a nice attended came over and said we could check it with her . It was awesome. I ask myself what sort of person steals wheel chairs and other mobility devices. Real low lifes. I guess mobility devices are huge money. We paid 300 just for a transport chair. That is cheap compared with what other mobility devices cost . It is a racket, medical equipment.
The show lasted about 2 hours. She had an opener first. He was so funny also. After, the show it was so crowded. It is sort of hard to push a chair in a crowd. You really have to concentrate not to hit people and their heals. People aren't even aware that your there. They dart in and out and sometimes you have to come to an abrupt stop giving J whip lash because some oblivious asshat jumps out in front of the chair. I'm getting better at navigating. Thank god , I was in a good mood or the asshat might of got rammed and ran over.
Even the ride back was better because I really tipped the driver to be more accommodating. The first time going over there he was having a hard time with the chair and had the trunk swinging open to fit the chair and begrudgingly put the chair in the trunk. Suggested we get one from the casino. I had to explain to him she actually needed it to even get back to the room etc. It is deceiving because she can walk some and get into a car herself. That is about it though. He was kind after that. I tipped him real well dropping J off and taking me back and forth. So when he saw us again he was about tripping over himself to do a real good job. Even set up her chair to present her when she got out of the limo. It is funny what money will do to motivate people.
I have a very hard time with crowds and casinos. Casinos trigger a mini mania for me. Everything shines, twinkles and is so loud. The decor even over stimulates me. Just about everything overstimulates me in a casino. I had to smoke up before I went over there. Just to handle all the things that are bad for me and gives me that horrible anxiety ridden feeling. In the past , to deal with the casino, I would hit the bar at the casino. Next thing you know I have that zombie slot face. Then J would yell at me to stop gambling and drinking. She would also yell at me because I would have to see every section of machines, trying to figure out the best return for my buck. They don't have the best return for your buck in a casino.
I managed to stay out of the bar and no where near a slot machine. I didn't even eat at the casino. Opting for a bag of Arbys in the hotel room. We just laughed and talked till we went to bed. For that evening, I was in love again. It really felt like a date. I had all the feelings I had when we first got together. It truly was a good day.
Reality, set in the next day. J was so exhausted and has been in bed off and on since we have came back. It takes a lot out of J to do anything.
We have another trip planned for our 10th Anniversary for the first week of June. That will be more sedate at a lighthouse over looking Lake Huron. Lots of taking in the water, bush and boats. It should be restful.
I hope this post was somewhat coherent. I'm a better blogger in the afternoon. haha