Thursday, October 7, 2010

Season Change...Mood Change

I can feel autumn in the air. The pretty colours of the trees are bright. Yellows, reds, gold and burgundy light up the landscape. It has been nice and sunny lately. Every wonderful fall something happens that isn't so wonderful. My mood changes and not for the better. My mood picks up to only drop into a nasty vicious mixed mood. I'm not mixed at the moment but I know it will come by November and stay until about Januarary. My moods are highly predicatable but not the severity.

I try to busy myself waiting for the other shoe to drop off . I know I will be paralyzed with depression and mania. I plan for this mood and try to take the burden off some of the things I have to do. It isn't working like I want it to at the moment as I'm so scattered. I try to get things done anyway. I prepare for the winter and also as I prepare for the winter I prepare for things to come such as becoming a hermit for months and not wanting to get out. I'm hoping to possible get my SAD light next week. If it doesn't come through I will buy one as I don't want to suffer the light changes that make my moods worse. I have already started on my vitamin D and a complex B vitamin to give me some natural energy as my energy is a flip of a coin on any given day. I really need to start my exercise back up also. I have been trying to be real structured as it is real important bracing for the blackness that I experiance. All, the little things count . I tell myself that anyway. Just like seasons come and go . I know my moods come and go also.


  1. you know i am right there with ya -- maybe that's what half of my mental cleaning rampage was about yesterday? that and thinkin my sis was comin over-- instead - i dragged my crippled ass down the road and ate an early dinner with her. ugh

    i need to get that lamp too. never tried it - but it has got to be worth the investment. if you get yours before me -- let me know if it helps -- ok?
    i do hope you get some releif this time around-- in some way!

    we both need to just maybe try different things-- for some reason -- we both seem willing to try -- more than before-- i wonder why that is-- and why now?


    have a really good day kris-

  2. Soul, probaly like me your tired of suffering and will do just about anything. I would even drink snake oil not to go through the hell with the seasons changing. I really hope it makes a difference and I will share with you if it does. I have tried so many things over almost 10 years and have had my low periods where I give up but in the past 2-3 years I have started to try again.