Monday, January 9, 2012

Crazy Time Of Month

Lately, I have been dealing with life like a crazy lady. It has been so up and down and all over the place. Then I realized it is that time of month. I don't handle anything real well at all and if I have a lot of stress already before I start my period I become that mad insane crazy lady. It isn't normal PMS. It just made me feel good to realize where all that confusion, anxiety, insecurity and being neurotic came from out of the blue when I thought I was just feeling better.
It has been a tough week. J was hospitalized for high blood pressure. 239/129 or something like that. just remember the top number real well. The hospital didn't do shit. Really didn't stabilize it either. Hours went by and J came home with another pill in J's bag of pills. Still isn't stabilizing out either. I guess another trip up to ER is what J is going to have to do. J was informed also that her doctor is sick(dying) and won't be practicing anymore. Which is hard in a place where it is very hard to find a doc making stupid expensive ER visits more likely. J was also dx. Diabetic. I blame J's anti-psychotics for that one. J never was overweight in J's life. J is obese in the past 5 years and just keeps packing it on. Those things can be more toxic than what it cures. That is my opinion anyway. I know I used to take the same thing and had high cholesterol and high blood sugar etc. I don't take that poison anymore and I'm much more healthy physically. Once in awhile when I'm actually manic I will take some haldol. That is just to short leash my ass to society's norms. (not get locked up) When I took them everyday I had no metabolism. If I'm overweight now it is my fault but the thing is I can diet and take it off. I don't feel much like a zombie either. Each to their own though. I know it helps some people . Off my soap box about anti-psychotics. The thing about health is if you don't advocate your own health no one is going to. Tons of inadequate medicine out there. Especially, if your mentally ill or have that label. I don't have that label in Canada and get way better health care not having that label. I have never told anyone of my label in this country.J has the label and gets shit health care and not took very serious. Every since I don't tell people that label they treat me different and take care of my concerns. I get around this by having private health care. I'm not in the bureaucracy of the system. I'm tired of any system as they all have major flaws in them.

I managed to also smash and break my left index finger so typing is slow and hard. I was moving boxes to the truck and the dog tried to get out and shut my or should say slammed my finger in the door. Not to happy as I have a ton of stuff to do.

On a better note, I found another organic farm for food. I bought 7 different variety of sausages. Two roasting chickens and some chops ,eggs. Managed to get lost finding the farm but getting lost found another farm that sold lamb. I ordered a whole lamb and will probably get it in 3 weeks. 2 weeks it goes to butcher. I will be looking up a ton of recipes for lamb. Haven't cooked it much but really like it.

Well, off to do something productive maybe.


  1. And here I was hoping that 2012 was going to be wonderful for you and J. I guess that's not about to happen. Sigh.

    Glad you found the organic food places. Now that IS good news!

  2. I take anti-psychotics too and have done for the last couple of years. Horrible name for them, isn't it? Unfortunately I need to take them and am coping with things much better now. I put on a lot of weight with them at first, as they tend to make you want to eat a lot more. For about the last 6 months, I've been supplementing 2 meals a day with a meal replacing formula called Rapid Loss, which helps to make you feel fuller. I was still starving at first but gradually got used to eating less, and now I'm 12 kgs lighter and feel much better about myself. The improvement in my mood is enough to keep me on this product, but I'm still hopeful of getting off that medication eventually, as my conditioned apparently worsened as a sort of hormonal thing, relating to going through menopause.