Monday, September 26, 2011


I have in the last week got my feeling hurt. It also has made me put up a wall where my mother is concerned. Since my father has passed away I thought we where getting closer. She calls me almost everyday with her grief and uses me as a free therapist. Sometimes, it is overwhelming and sometimes I'm happy to talk to her. I'm a shoulder per say because she is lonely. I have always for the most part been the rock.

The problem is when I needed her she wasn't there for me. Which is a giant trigger for me because she seems not to be their when I need her. What hurt the most was I thought she had changed through this experience. Oh, I was wrong.

We are in the midst, of getting remodeling done on our home. It takes a boat load of money that we don't have. Some of those repairs need to be made before the snow also. We went to the bank to try to dip into some of J's investments but they are locked in till next year. The bathroom won't wait till January. So, we had to apply for a credit card with interest. We are up to debt to our eyeballs with our other one. So, that evening I called my mother asking her if I could borrow 10 grand. Which really isn't anything for my mother. I told her I would pay her a grand every month till it was paid. It would really help us not rack up more debt and she isn't doing anything with her money anyway. I would post date a cheque every month so she would know she was getting paid. She really didn't want to discuss it. Told me she was busy making freaking sushi. Then goes on about that. I told her to call me the next day to discuss it. She finally got around to calling me the next day. She said she really didn't want to. No reason either. Told me to let the bank loan us the money.

I'm pissed. I have loaned that woman money when she had none. Have always tried to be there for her etc. I'm done and detached now. I will not open myself to be hurt again. I would rather borrow the money from the devil than ever ask my mom for anything again.

1 comment:

  1. Oh, dear, Kristy. This is all so sad.
    Blessings and Bear hugs.