Tuesday, September 27, 2011

Borrowing from the devil

Since, being rejected by my mother for the loan for home repairs it has been a wait game with the bank. It has caused much anxiety . It has made us ask our selves a lot of questions and most of all where the hell are we going to get the money we need.

Yesterday, I tried to clean and do some fall cleaning. I was just a ball of nerves all day. After, taking a break I told J I can't wait till the bank calls. Call the bank. It was about 4:15pm. The bank closes at 4:30. J left a message and lo and behold the woman called back . She told us we where approved and for how much. Best of all we didn't have to mortgage our home to get the money and it is unsecured. We are now doing business with the devil aka bank. At least with the bank we know what we are dealing with. No strings attached to the bank either except they want the money back in a timely period with interest. I can deal with that. I thought it would be easier dealing with my mother but I'm glad she didn't loan the money as history and recent events shows me you don't change the spots on a leopard. Doing anything with family has had strings attached to it in the past.

It also brought up the point J and I really don't have functional family and really dysfunctional family that we can't rely on. It is hard to ask J's parents for anything as they have senile dementia and that would be taking advantage. They where helpful if we needed anything finiacal in the past but even in there right mind still dysfunctional. We really realized in the past and it cemented now that we only have each other. It is nice to know someone has my back. It has been a tough year for J and I relationship. Finiacal stuff has away to put a strain on any relationship but lately it has been making our relationship better. We both are brainstorming for the goals we want and also see why we are in debt up to our eyeballs. We even have a good laugh at it at times. When we walk around the house and pull something out of a pile and ask why did we buy this. I found a shirt I had to have last year still with a tag on it. Found several books that I just purchased recently that probably wont be read for awhile. We have been confronting our waste and poor choices. Doing this we will better be able to make better choices. Wants versus needs and get on a better budget. It has made us want to vomit with some of the life choices we have made with money.

We have to visit J's parents and I had to book a hotel for next month. At this stage of the game we have to visit and J's parents have no room for us. I booked the cheapest I could. It still cost a bundle. It made us both sick knowing that the money we will spend for the visit would of been our vacation this year. Sometimes I wish we had no sense of Duty and loyalty. We where immoral and wouldn't visit. Most of the time it isn't appreciated either. With my in-laws suffering dementia and very old age it is more like they behave they are entitled. We should full fill are duties even when it is bankrupting us. They have no concept of debt as they never would of spent themselves in foolish debt and would of done without before getting into debt. Hence, they have money because they have always been responsible. It doesn't help they drive us so crazy when we visit we run up a hell of a bar tab all week. This time we will drink in our room and bring all of our animals. We also have activities planned as the constant repeating stories drives us nuts and bores us to death. We will try to get over the money we don't have to go and visit even if it makes us sick to our stomachs and suck it up like we always do. Oh family aren't they great.

More to come tomorrow. I feel like I have rambled and the whole post could be better structured but my mind is at maxium overload. Sorry if it was hard to read.


  1. Well, you certainly are facing challenges.
    But at least you have some money. And you're working on your relationship. And you're going to make a difficult visit. And you're still blogging.
    There are important things happening in your lives.
    Blessings and Bear hugs.

  2. Thank-you Rob, you make me see the postive. You are a great Bear and I dearly love your input. Your right , I might not like this but it is working out and I'm dealing with it.