I'm up early this morning. I slept good. It has been a couple of weeks since I haven't woke up several times in pain . My shoulder is coming along. I'm pleasantly surprised by the results of massage therapy. Massage therapy is very under-rated in the western world. I was even unsure about something that wasn't traditional in a medical sense. I have pretty much gave the medical profession the middle finger since 2007. So, I was willing to try something else when my shoulder came up. One thing that also helps things along is drinking plenty of water. I think the theory is to wash out the toxins after a massage as the body trys to get rid of lactic acid. I'm not sure. I also soak in Epsom salt to get rid of the pain. It doesn't really get rid of the pain but it isn't as pronounced. I don't feel like I have been beating after a massage if I drink a ton of water and soak. A big factor is to keep it flexible after a massage. I keep active now no matter how painful it is. I have surprised myself lately with keeping more active. I didn't think I could with the pain. I get tried easy now and don't have the endurance that I did. It will come back though in time.
Keeping active and working through the pain gives me hope and is a boost to my self-esteem. Sitting around and doing nothing was really effecting my head. I was feeling defeated and helpless. It was effecting my mood. I'm still working on my energy level and just doing things slowly but eventually things will get done to my liking. The house is a little overwhelming at the moment. Nothing has much got done in several weeks. I have been gradually working on it this past week in small chunks. I'm back to cooking though and it makes a big difference not eating crap. Eating packaged food made me physically sick. My body isn't used to a steady diet of crap. My digestive track is getting back to normal. I'm also not as irritable and cranky. I do experience some irritable still though but not as bad. I have a handle on it. I can stuff it more and bite my tongue. I'm also able to deal with my rapid fire of thoughts by writing down the words that pop up in my head on paper . I take the words and make a sentence with them. I also make more list lately so I know what the hell I'm doing. I would be lost at the moment going grocery shopping without one. Usually, I can kI guess I will close. I have the morning to enjoy by myself. I also have a relaxing day to look forward to.
Sunday, January 30, 2011
The Benefits Of Massage
I'm up early this morning. I slept good. It has been a couple of weeks since I haven't woke up several times in pain . My shoulder is coming along. I'm pleasantly surprised by the results of massage therapy. Massage therapy is very under-rated in the western world. I was even unsure about something that wasn't traditional in a medical sense. I have pretty much gave the medical profession the middle finger since 2007. So, I was willing to try something else when my shoulder came up. One thing that also helps things along is drinking plenty of water. I think the theory is to wash out the toxins after a massage as the body trys to get rid of lactic acid. I'm not sure. I also soak in Epsom salt to get rid of the pain. It doesn't really get rid of the pain but it isn't as pronounced. I don't feel like I have been beating after a massage if I drink a ton of water and soak. A big factor is to keep it flexible after a massage. I keep active now no matter how painful it is. I have surprised myself lately with keeping more active. I didn't think I could with the pain. I get tried easy now and don't have the endurance that I did. It will come back though in time.
Keeping active and working through the pain gives me hope and is a boost to my self-esteem. Sitting around and doing nothing was really effecting my head. I was feeling defeated and helpless. It was effecting my mood. I'm still working on my energy level and just doing things slowly but eventually things will get done to my liking. The house is a little overwhelming at the moment. Nothing has much got done in several weeks. I have been gradually working on it this past week in small chunks. I'm back to cooking though and it makes a big difference not eating crap. Eating packaged food made me physically sick. My body isn't used to a steady diet of crap. My digestive track is getting back to normal. I'm also not as irritable and cranky. I do experience some irritable still though but not as bad. I have a handle on it. I can stuff it more and bite my tongue. I'm also able to deal with my rapid fire of thoughts by writing down the words that pop up in my head on paper . I take the words and make a sentence with them. I also make more list lately so I know what the hell I'm doing. I would be lost at the moment going grocery shopping without one. Usually, I can keep a list in my head. It is just that time of year for me where my mood changes .
I guess I will close. I have the morning to enjoy by myself. I also have a relaxing day to look forward to. I really don't know what I will do today as it is a free day for me.
Keeping active and working through the pain gives me hope and is a boost to my self-esteem. Sitting around and doing nothing was really effecting my head. I was feeling defeated and helpless. It was effecting my mood. I'm still working on my energy level and just doing things slowly but eventually things will get done to my liking. The house is a little overwhelming at the moment. Nothing has much got done in several weeks. I have been gradually working on it this past week in small chunks. I'm back to cooking though and it makes a big difference not eating crap. Eating packaged food made me physically sick. My body isn't used to a steady diet of crap. My digestive track is getting back to normal. I'm also not as irritable and cranky. I do experience some irritable still though but not as bad. I have a handle on it. I can stuff it more and bite my tongue. I'm also able to deal with my rapid fire of thoughts by writing down the words that pop up in my head on paper . I take the words and make a sentence with them. I also make more list lately so I know what the hell I'm doing. I would be lost at the moment going grocery shopping without one. Usually, I can keep a list in my head. It is just that time of year for me where my mood changes .
I guess I will close. I have the morning to enjoy by myself. I also have a relaxing day to look forward to. I really don't know what I will do today as it is a free day for me.
Ramblings
I don't really have a solid idea on what to blog on. So much and So little has been going on with me. That sounds like a contridiction. Bare, with me my mind. It is jumbled up. It feels like a salad. Salad meaning it has many things in it. You can identify the pieces in it but it is all mixed up. My lack of writing has been about how to structure what I write. With my thoughts all over the place or feeling blank it really is hard to write. I also have been in a lot of pain still and it is hard to hang my arm in the postion to have to type. So, if you still are following my post, I will try to actually write something.
Like my last post previously stated.... I have been dealing with physical pain. My shoulder is pretty screwed up. I have a lot of issues going on with it. It is ironic that just one thing isn't wrong with it but many. Such is my life. Sometimes, I get a cynical laugh out of it. I really can't recall what was the catalyst that set the shoulder to really act up. I have dealt with my bummed shoulders for years. Like the therapist said "it was probaly something stupid you did like grabbing a box of something" I was very active one day and two days after woke up not able to hardly move my arm. I had pain that I haven't expieranced in years. I knew I had issues with the shoulder but it didn't bother me on a chronic bases or get in the way of my life. Whatever I did was the straw that broke the camels back. The funny thing was before this happened I scheduled an appoinment to deal with it. It was part of my resolve to start taking care of myself better. I just have had to deal with it at a faster pace.
I must be in an OK mood to even deal with it as much as I have been. My mood always picks up around this time to escalate into mania by the end of Febuaruary. It hits like clock work every year. I could feel like a switch flipping right before this happened. I was actually relieved as I could get on with life and my winter sports. This year the season for downhill skiing and cross country skiing is peaking. I was looking forward to starting back again. Well, I'm disappointed. This year I'm not going to be able to do any skiing of any sort. I generally take a vacation in the winter also . Mostly a skiing vacation or some version of something I enjoy. With the cost involved of getting my shoulder tolerable and gaining mobility , it is very expensive. I'm gratefully that even though it hurts my bank account like hell, I'm able to afford it. The other thing is I can't risk farther injury and any set back. If you don't know anything about cross country skiing you use your shoulder a lot. Lower body for downhill. Just can't risk a fall with that though.
I go through periods where I feel defeated. It isn't depression. I'm getting to a place where I'm accepting the things I can't do this winter. I'm trying to think of other things to do even though I really had my heart set on other things. It pisses me off. I'm trying to focus on getting better and just hoping like hell this shoulder won't affect my golf season this year. This shoulder issue also pushes other buttons for me. Like always having to give up things I love to an illness and settle for other things. I have a suspcion that the shoulder will be a life time thing. That I will have to modify how I live. I never did in the past and I'm paying the price for it now. I have always lived hard and played hard. It is hard to think , I'm going to have to slow down during my good periods and also do things like ask for help around the house. (Less lifting)
I have been exttremely irritable. I was told that by J. I just thought I had less patients being in pain. Which for me , was I just don't have patients for J's bullshit. Usually, I accept J for who J is. In pain and frustration I think differently of J. Lately, I think WOW. Why do I put up with half the crap? , I do. That is a whole post on it's own. Also, a topic at the moment I don't want to deal with. But this whole thing of being in pain does open my eyes to many aspects of my life. It is funny what you see when you are stuck on the couch and have limited activity. I have had plenty of time to think and to open my eyes towards life in these past 2-3 weeks.
I'm going to wrap this up. Hoping that I can get to the store today. I think I will take a little nap.
Like my last post previously stated.... I have been dealing with physical pain. My shoulder is pretty screwed up. I have a lot of issues going on with it. It is ironic that just one thing isn't wrong with it but many. Such is my life. Sometimes, I get a cynical laugh out of it. I really can't recall what was the catalyst that set the shoulder to really act up. I have dealt with my bummed shoulders for years. Like the therapist said "it was probaly something stupid you did like grabbing a box of something" I was very active one day and two days after woke up not able to hardly move my arm. I had pain that I haven't expieranced in years. I knew I had issues with the shoulder but it didn't bother me on a chronic bases or get in the way of my life. Whatever I did was the straw that broke the camels back. The funny thing was before this happened I scheduled an appoinment to deal with it. It was part of my resolve to start taking care of myself better. I just have had to deal with it at a faster pace.
I must be in an OK mood to even deal with it as much as I have been. My mood always picks up around this time to escalate into mania by the end of Febuaruary. It hits like clock work every year. I could feel like a switch flipping right before this happened. I was actually relieved as I could get on with life and my winter sports. This year the season for downhill skiing and cross country skiing is peaking. I was looking forward to starting back again. Well, I'm disappointed. This year I'm not going to be able to do any skiing of any sort. I generally take a vacation in the winter also . Mostly a skiing vacation or some version of something I enjoy. With the cost involved of getting my shoulder tolerable and gaining mobility , it is very expensive. I'm gratefully that even though it hurts my bank account like hell, I'm able to afford it. The other thing is I can't risk farther injury and any set back. If you don't know anything about cross country skiing you use your shoulder a lot. Lower body for downhill. Just can't risk a fall with that though.
I go through periods where I feel defeated. It isn't depression. I'm getting to a place where I'm accepting the things I can't do this winter. I'm trying to think of other things to do even though I really had my heart set on other things. It pisses me off. I'm trying to focus on getting better and just hoping like hell this shoulder won't affect my golf season this year. This shoulder issue also pushes other buttons for me. Like always having to give up things I love to an illness and settle for other things. I have a suspcion that the shoulder will be a life time thing. That I will have to modify how I live. I never did in the past and I'm paying the price for it now. I have always lived hard and played hard. It is hard to think , I'm going to have to slow down during my good periods and also do things like ask for help around the house. (Less lifting)
I have been exttremely irritable. I was told that by J. I just thought I had less patients being in pain. Which for me , was I just don't have patients for J's bullshit. Usually, I accept J for who J is. In pain and frustration I think differently of J. Lately, I think WOW. Why do I put up with half the crap? , I do. That is a whole post on it's own. Also, a topic at the moment I don't want to deal with. But this whole thing of being in pain does open my eyes to many aspects of my life. It is funny what you see when you are stuck on the couch and have limited activity. I have had plenty of time to think and to open my eyes towards life in these past 2-3 weeks.
I'm going to wrap this up. Hoping that I can get to the store today. I think I will take a little nap.
Monday, January 24, 2011
Ouch
This entry is going to be short. I have been in a lot of physical pain lately. My shoulder is acting up leaving me pretty much tired and cranky. I have been in acute pain for a little over a week. Now it is just nagging chronic pain. It is getting better. I have been going to someone who is a massage therapist that specializes in Sports Medicine injuries. I have got little sleep in two weeks with the pain. It is getting better though with the treatments and I'm up to about 4 hours straight last night.
I have had a full day of trying to live. Living = doing everyday things around the house. Like housework and cooking. I have even made that elusive list of things I want to work on. Way different than I planned on doing but works with my flair up of my shoulder. I have this real funny feeling that this injury is going to last awhile and I will have to do things differently for awhile. It will not be a short rehab of the shoulder area. I will get more into the shoulder in a later post. But it is pretty broken down this time. I'm being very proactive this time around about it. I'm proud to say I haven't had to break down YET with taking pain pills. It is very tempting but really a short term fix for the problem. So far I have been able to deal with it. When I can't I will opt for narcotics. I really don't wannt to as I'm prone to addiction. So far I have though found something that has been short of a miracle for me that it does make the pain bareable. It is called Biofreeze. It isn't a cure all but helps more than anything over the counter. Physical Therapist use it. Others that use it are Sports trainers, Chiropracters, Massage therapist. They also use it to take ultra-sounds for things that need to be manipulated . It helps with the pain.
I will try to write tomorrow and discuss some of the things that are going on in my life and some of my new outlooks.
I have had a full day of trying to live. Living = doing everyday things around the house. Like housework and cooking. I have even made that elusive list of things I want to work on. Way different than I planned on doing but works with my flair up of my shoulder. I have this real funny feeling that this injury is going to last awhile and I will have to do things differently for awhile. It will not be a short rehab of the shoulder area. I will get more into the shoulder in a later post. But it is pretty broken down this time. I'm being very proactive this time around about it. I'm proud to say I haven't had to break down YET with taking pain pills. It is very tempting but really a short term fix for the problem. So far I have been able to deal with it. When I can't I will opt for narcotics. I really don't wannt to as I'm prone to addiction. So far I have though found something that has been short of a miracle for me that it does make the pain bareable. It is called Biofreeze. It isn't a cure all but helps more than anything over the counter. Physical Therapist use it. Others that use it are Sports trainers, Chiropracters, Massage therapist. They also use it to take ultra-sounds for things that need to be manipulated . It helps with the pain.
I will try to write tomorrow and discuss some of the things that are going on in my life and some of my new outlooks.
Sunday, January 16, 2011
Climbing
I couldn't sleep so I thought I would write. My shoulder and neck is hurting. It has hurt pretty bad for hours. Nothing much has gave me relief except trying to stretch it out and some alieve. The alieve gives me bad heart burn. I have scheduled a massage with someone that specializes in sports medicine. She can really manipulate aches and pains pretty well but it is over a week away.
I haven't wrote in awhile. (maybe a little over two weeks). My memory has been bad lately. My head seems so full but it seems I have writers block. I feel like I write about the same ole crap a lot . I hate being negative also. I can feel though that my SAD (Seasonal Affective Disorder) is about to make a switch to a more normal mood for me . What ever that is. It is very subjective to most people, whether I ever act normal. That is another blog entry. i caught myself thinking about going ice skating, cross country skiing and snow shoeing. I haven't thought about my hobbys since November. It really is a glimmer of hope. I even played in the snow with the dogs. It is a small impoverment .
I still live in my head a lot and it is improving some. I'm not isolating as badly and keeping everything to myself . I do have to limit my time reading it has became obessive . I can spend endless hours reading anything. I think it has to do with living in my head so much and it is easier than having to deal with life.
One thing I was thinking about this year is I want to do more with my blog. I have been lacking so much with posting. The last time I checked my readership is down 249 points. I had a decent year last year with over 50,000 views and with my neglect the readership is dropping. I have just got to the point I haven't wanted to share and frankly I get sick of writing about moods. My life is so much more than my illness.
I haven't wrote in awhile. (maybe a little over two weeks). My memory has been bad lately. My head seems so full but it seems I have writers block. I feel like I write about the same ole crap a lot . I hate being negative also. I can feel though that my SAD (Seasonal Affective Disorder) is about to make a switch to a more normal mood for me . What ever that is. It is very subjective to most people, whether I ever act normal. That is another blog entry. i caught myself thinking about going ice skating, cross country skiing and snow shoeing. I haven't thought about my hobbys since November. It really is a glimmer of hope. I even played in the snow with the dogs. It is a small impoverment .
I still live in my head a lot and it is improving some. I'm not isolating as badly and keeping everything to myself . I do have to limit my time reading it has became obessive . I can spend endless hours reading anything. I think it has to do with living in my head so much and it is easier than having to deal with life.
One thing I was thinking about this year is I want to do more with my blog. I have been lacking so much with posting. The last time I checked my readership is down 249 points. I had a decent year last year with over 50,000 views and with my neglect the readership is dropping. I have just got to the point I haven't wanted to share and frankly I get sick of writing about moods. My life is so much more than my illness.
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