Animals ...........

I thought I would blog this morning . It has been awhile. Seems like the only time I blog anymore is when I'm in a mood. I should blog more often when things are normal. I have been trying my hardest to get out of a depression. I have a ton to do and no energy to do it.

We are getting a puppy of all things Saturday. I'm not ready for it and in all honesty probably would never be prepared for one. I have a ton to do before we get Alice. We have had our older dog which is 2 now going to dog daycare for some training , reinforcement, and some of her anxiety problems. She is a shy dog. That has been going well. She goes for a hour every day. We need her ready for this new arrival and not to teach Alice bad behaviour. We are now not letting the dog barge the door and making her wait and stay to be let out. We have let this dog get away with a lot because we have been depressed. Daisy is a good dog but we have been to loose with her manners.  Even though she knows how to behave. We are going over her manners .She likes going to obedience and paying with others. On the other hand I feel like it interferes with my flow of day. I have been making J pick her up because the woman that helps us talks to much and instead of a hour a day it is much like 2 hours a day then add 20 minutes for drop off and pick up. I have a house to get ready for a puppy.

I have been trying my SAD lamp again and it is gradually working. I have to watch out though so I don't get manic. Like any anti-depressant it makes me go up and up and away if it is to much. I have been exercising. It seems to be that winter in a cold environment speeds up your metabolism. I also been snowshoeing that burns 40 percent more calories than anything like walking, jogging or running. The down side is my back hurts so bad. My back has been horrible since I have started again with exercise. I take an over the counter muscle relaxer to get through the pain. I have been sleeping a lot lately also with more exercise. It just makes me so tired. It will even out. I will continue to push through. I need to be able to get my head in the frame of being outside all the time with this puppy. I have started to get in a structured routine before the dog comes so I wont be so out of it. I have been forcing myself to get up and stay up in the morning also. Daisy will sleep anytime but a puppy needs to be on a structured routine.

This new puppy is forcing me out of my rut whether I want to get out of it or not. Cats are so much easier! Except for my little guy Riley. He is now on five drops of eye drops a day to get rid of the  blob in his eye that the virus he had did. He is a delight though and has adjusted very nicely.  

Pissed Off

I had a panic attack this morning. I looked at the bank account this morning and the bank didn't put funds into after cashing out an investment that was suppose to mature today. They eventually did and it was chalked down to a misunderstanding.

But before it could be figured out I was sweating , shaking and a million things where going through my mind. Even after it was settled I was trying hard to calm myself. I just tried to stay busy and distract myself and after about 2 hours I was fine. It doesn't help that I'm pmsing.

To top it off J told me she is sick AGAIN. I seriously wonder how many times a person can be stricken with flu like symptoms. I had to change my dental cleaning today at the last minute because I don't drive. J told me to take a taxi but a taxi from where I live would be a little over 55 dollars round trip. It was cheaper to pay the cancellation fee. I'm pissed. I could of been told yesterday. The woman at the dentist office isn't that nice and isn't someone you would want to call. I actually never want to piss her off as she can get her teeth and claws out. I just hope the rest of my appointments this week I won't have to cancel.

I still have to get the cat's eye checked again and him neutered . I also have a massage that my poor lower back and hip need. I'm getting sick of J being sick all the time. J also goes to the doctor all the time anymore . Nothing ever really gets solved either. I say if you are sick as often as J suck it up. If you can't tell I'm pissed off.

This and That

Wow, how time flies . I really just noticed i haven't blogged in little over a month. The last month and a half has been full of me being sick with the flu and not exciting except maybe me ordering stuff on-line a little to much.

I was sick for about three weeks with the flu. J also had the flu but was way sicker than me. The cats where sick also . Found out the little one was sick with a upper respiratory  infection and gave the older cat that also. He was sick when we got him. His eye is still in a bad state and in the process of still healing . He though has stopped hacking his little butt off and the older one is better. Nothing like dramatic sick cats.They wouldn't eat and we where told to give them anything they could or wanted to eat. I ended up switching the older cat back to dry so she would eat . She lost a couple of pounds and looked like hell. She got what she wanted. The kitten he wanted wet so he got as much wet as he wanted and packed on the pounds. Now they are both happy on dry and not being prima donnas any more .  The vet has been real good about the cost because we got the sick kitten from her. She has only charged us 30 bucks for the two of them and that has only been for meds. She has waived her fee which is generally 70 dollars to see her. Even gave a free shot to the older cat. I think I might have to take the kitten back for her to look at his eye again as it isn't clearing up. His ulcer on his eye is still there. I was suppose to take him in also to get fixed.


I have been so lazy in the past month. Mainly trying to get well again. I have been using the excuse it has been way to cold to go out also and do anything active like my usual winter sports of snow shoeing and cross country skiing . It has been like -21 c or -5 f . Then we have been having what we call January thaws. Where it  melts and causes hell on the snow. The temps get into 7 c to 44 f .  That did that for a week. Some of the temps got all over the place. I don't mind winter. But I do mind the weather being all screwy. One week it is snow and horrible sub temps and one week it is thawing and high temps over and over again. I just want the snow to stick and have regular seasonal temps so I can get out of my cave and do something. I have been threatening to get a life for a month. Don't know when it is going to happen.

I have been spending a little to much lately which is a sign of hypo-mania and mania. I'm being way more careful about it now. Part of me doesn't care. I hate being in a dark depression. Also, just about everything I order we need or I can justify . Especially since I have gained so much weight in December and January. I haven't much worked at me losing weight. I did though stop drinking soda. Getting out of my usual depression a little early helped curb the eating also. I don't feel the need to eat everything sweet and all the carbs in the house. I also replaced all snack food with fruit. I still am working towards wanting to work out again. I think with that I'm going to have to bite the bullet and just exercise. That is a just do it kind of thing and get back into some structure with it. It will also help my chronic pain which has worsened by sitting all the time since my flu. I have got in the bad habit of tv and computer all the time. Good thing I'm getting bored of it.

Lately, I have been bored with many things . It is a good thing though. It will help me get off my ass. Being sick for that time found me in bed watching tv and on the couch. It has also mad me catch up on housework. Talking of the house. Our pipes froze and busted. Our water heater also went out. We thought oh well and just got them fixed. No the universe is picking on me thing this time. Shit happens or I would like to say life happens. It is just expensive when life happens all the time. The good thing about it the water heater was going for awhile and we have such lovely pressure and hot water. It has been such a treat. I even like doing dishes better and I hate dishes.

I have a lot of things to do this week. Mainly, self care things like getting my  teeth cleaned  and massage for my chronic ache. Also, the cat with his eye and getting him fixed. I hope to also maybe be a better blogger also and get back to a routine of posting.