First off I can't get my own comment section to work to comment back on the comments. It is frustrating. I want to say thanks to all that commented. I'm really trying to change this vicious cycle with my moods by being more proactive and dealing with my life even if it isn't perfect by any means.
This week has been a rough week. J sickness has got worse since detoxing off the booze. We had to go to the er this week with symptoms of a gallbladder and it wasn't that but a fatty liver. J can't hold food down at all for the past 2 weeks. J shits it all out and on top of that doesn't want to eat hardly at all . Which isn't like J. J is very over weight due to all the weight gain from all those nice psych pills. The doc said the fatty liver was due to J's fatness. Who knows because as I was reading you have to do a liver biopsy and the doc didn't do one. He did do blood test and a ultrasound. I was hoping for a gallbladder as that is fairly straight forward. This isn't as straight forward and really their is no change in J's sickness and J is very sick and very weak. I think we will find out more when J goes for a follow up the 24th. The er doctor wasn't what i say very good or helpful.. I find in the area where we live the doctors aren't very good and I have been to a lot of doctors over a lifetime for various things. I certainly wouldn't feel like putting my life in any of their hands up at the hospital. I always joke around and say if I break anything or am very sick drive me 90 miles away to the next bigger city. I even question how they read an ultra sound as J has had a bad ultra sound before in this area and was told that the other city was going to do it over again because everything they do here is questionable.
J not eating means I don't want to cook just for myself. My diet has been crap this week and I hardly eat. J eats soup or something like ensure. I made my first real meal last night where I grilled some burgers. It felt good to eat something like real meat (lol) I have been running around like crazy to take care of J these past 2 weeks. You would think J's legs don't work nor arms. It puts me in a funky mood. It seems when I try to take care of myself something like this happens.It pisses me off because I don't abuse my body like J. If I did I would have to pick up my own pieces and get no help . J sometimes drags me down . J is starting to get real whiny. I hate whiny sick. Who knows if the liver is from being fat or from drinking to much. Abuse is abuse. Even if it has tons of reasons. Of course J is in denial and feels helpless doing anything about it. It might take getting off the couch and putting the food down to solve. It might mean cutting back on the psych pills and dealing with life.
I do know one thing I can't put my own life on hold anymore. It effects me in a negative way and triggers depression. I know that for me to stay healthy mentally I have to stay active and do some of the things that make me happy.
Kristy, you need to look after you. You already know that; I'm just being a "reminder."
ReplyDeleteHope you and J both stay well this autumn. Blessings and Bear hugs.
As you would have read I was sick as all hell for the last few weeks, and didn't want to eat either couldn't face food and hubby had to fend for himself which he does often anyway so nothing new there..........lol Although he couldn't be bothered to feed the dog.......which was so blood annoying, I had to get out of my sick bed to feed the dog.......lol
ReplyDeleteLife should never be put on hold it is to be lived and enjoyed and we need to spend it surrounded by those who love and care about us and make us feel special......
@Rob - Thanks, i finally figured out that an add-on was preventing me from commenting and screwing everything up. I do have to take care of myself. I love autumn . It is such a nice break from the hot summer we have had. It makes me nest also.
ReplyDelete@Jo-anne, thanks, J never has to really fend for anything. I need to make J start fending more when more well. I hope you are doing better now. I have been reading your blog. I also agree with you.
Hello sweet one, sorry for delay. As you know I have been out and about. I am so sorry to hear about your situation there. It sounds really awful. There is something horrible and draining about trying to look after somebody so needy when you are not in a position to do so. It doesn't matter how much you love somebody, we find it hard to balance the time devoted to a loved one and the time we give to ourselves, don't we? However, I am learning (slowly) that in order to be the best I can be for somebody else, I do need to take some time just being able to be me; high, low, otherwise, especially when the demands of others is so great. You sound really strong, Kristy. You are recognising that you need time for yourself and that is really positive. Feel proud of yourself for that. You are in a very difficult situation, but I can still see you are seeing clearly and being firm within yourself.
ReplyDeleteI am really proud of you, and I admire your strength greatly.
You have us all here. Don't forget how important you are to us.
Lots of love,
N xx
Nic, I so agree with you and what caught my eye was the sentence I'm not in the postion to do so with my moods. It is so hard but I'm doing it. It might not be perfect but I'm learning. Thanks, for being there for me!
DeleteAnd I thought I was having a bad day!
ReplyDeleteGood to hear you got your comments figured out. Man, I hate whiny sick people, too, even though I'm the whiniest sick person EVER! Chin up! Look after yourself and try to do something YOU enjoy. Hopefully J will lay off the booze completely... even though it may or may not have triggered his liver issues, it certainly isn't helping it.
Thanks, J has been laying off the booze. I'm hoping anyway the liver is a wonderful organ that can regenerate. Also, thank - you for stopping by. I really enjoy your blogs.
Deleteola -- tis i -- no one said it better than you !
ReplyDeletebut what the others said , sure didn't hurt --- take care of YOU - and the rest will fall into place.
Glad you popped by Soul. Missed you! I also agree with you!
Deletethanks for popping by! happy thanksgiving to you, too. how's the fatty liver situation going? i also struggle with weight but the gallbladder infection/removal has me on a very low fat diet and i'm am slowly and steadily losing weight. i have been collecting good (and cheap) recipes... maybe i'll make a page on my blog for the links. who knows, you might like some of them. c.
ReplyDeleteI would love for you to share your recipes. I love cheap also:) Your blog dosent show up in my feed so I have to pop over which I have been doing more.
Delete