Saturday, June 19, 2010

Sometimes Golf Can Teach You A Lesson In Life

Something that made me think the other day was about was a game of golf. I have been somewhat anxious and overwhelmed for awhile . I thought getting out would be good and since I have payed for a season of unlimited golf , I thought I needed to take advantage of it. The weather was actually decent. It has been like non-stop rain for awhile. I was really looking forward to playing since I haven't played in awhile. I showed up ready and looking forward towards playing until I got there. The woman that owns the golf course mentioned to me that It would be nice to have me play on a womens night where they have a league. The thought of playing with other women rattled the hell out of me. Where I wasn't anxious I became anxious. The thought of it made me sick. I made all kinds of excuses to get out of it. I even used the excuse I'm not any good. Well she dispelled that myth about being good when she showed me the score board. The thing is I'm a OK golfer and not awful. I'm awful when I get anxious and rattled though. The thing is I don't want to be around people at this time in my life. It isn't that I don't like people , it is I don't relate on a personal level or want to explain anything to them and my mood prevents me from being around them at this moment. Another thing is I stopped playing competively because it totally ruined a nice game and I was so uptight.
Anyways, I started to golf and I was so rattled about the possibility of playing with other women it really effected my game. I was all over the place and not hitting dead on. For me to play decent, I have to be relaxed and not over thinking like, I do in life. Golf for me is so easy when I'm just in the moment. Just like life is easier when I'm in the moment and living it and not thinking to much. Finally, after doing dismal for several holes, I remember thinking to hell with being so uptight, it isn't like I'm going to play on a league. I got into one of my sillier moments and picked up my club and acted like it was a sword and started sword fighting with J to break the tension. We laughed and some of the tension was broke. I started hitting the ball dead on where it was suppose to go. I didn't look at the obstacle in front of me but the bigger picture and blocked the mental obstacles of the course. I thought about life being like that to. When I see a big wall most of the time I look at the big wall and slam my face in it. Instead of looking over the wall and seeing the bigger picture.
What seemed like a terrible game of golf was good for me as I could get a lives lesson out of it. It was also nice to just get out also. It also felt impowering to get over the anxiety that set in also.


  1. good for YOU ! ya know - we are really a lot alike in many ways. and this is one of them. i love the analogy you came up with in this story.
    the insight is fantastic. and you're right.. a life lesson for you. and maybe many people who read this-- and practice it in whatever analogy they can use in their life. like me , for instance, i don't golf, but i could something else-- such as fishing or something, for example.

    the 'fear' of people, is really a good excuse for folks like 'us' to isolate, and not face the world -- or our issues. i know it runs much deeper than that-- i just haven't haven't explored that very much. i call myself agoraphobic, and i accept that. it's very rare i drag myself out into the real world. i have a handful of places that i deal with business.. the same few places.. by now, i know a few folks , and try my best to only deal with them when i have to. if i have to. if i can get hubby to do these things , rather than me-- that's the train i jump on.

    anyhow-- i gotta hand it to you-- that was a big step you took.. each one after that -- will get easier. you know that. or if you don't - trust me on it-- it will.

    as for me? i get comfortable and complacent , and i hibernate- like the sloth that i am. i go - only as much as i need to for survival. and it is physically, and mentally exhausting. but honestly, my strides do get longer, my accomplishments, at times more successful.
    my next goal? goin back to take some college classes after soulkid gets back in school. it terrifies me. the responsibility. the driving. the people. the possible judgment. but it's what i want for me.

    do what you want for you.
    no (wo) man - is an island. as much as we may think we belong in hibernation.. we are supposed to be living, and interacting.. maybe even making friends.

    the thought terrifies me. i think it does you too.

    why don't we give it a shot?

    we'll do it together-- keep each other posted. on our 'progress'. geesh, progress. what a concept eh?

    keep on truckin my friend, you're doin great !

  2. I can totally relate to every thing you have said. After getting burn so much it is just safer to not address the problem of isolation. I know I play a part in it also. I'm much any more agrophobic and mainly relate to people on the net even though i have got burnt that way also. I meed to start a new part of life that isnt familar and start with friends again. Baby steps probaly. I will start and give you my email address and maybe if your trusting enough add me to your facebook as I will add you to mine because we do have a lot in common. Write me at and I will tell you who to add for a friend. If you would want that. Tons of pics. I need to get involved with the photo challenge also and add more pictures to this sight also. If you don't feel comfortable tell me but I think this is the first step in awhile to get more with it with letting my guard down to get to know someone that is putting themselves out there. Your a loyal follower.

  3. ps. blogging is new to me , you could give me some pointers also.