Planning

I'm waking up and wondering where to start my morning. I have a ton to do and prepare for. I have a camping trip to prepare for in about 2 1/2 weeks up around Lake Superior. I was excited about it until I started thinking about all the planning and work associated with it. I try to add to my list with it as much as I can with the camping trip .

It is a very much needed trip up north. I need the peace, quiet, smell of pine , sound of crashing waves and chilly mornings. I went up North last year to clear my mind and unclutter my soul. I have been carrying around a lot of grief, sadness and just everyday crap. I have been trying to unload all that keeps me down . I need to just be and relax. I won't have t.v or computer, phone, Internet etc. It is going to be nice except that I'm addicted to my computer. I have a cell phone but it doesn't have any bars. It is a dead zone. Part of me doesn't like that at all and I really doubt the provincial park has wifi(lol) I'm easily distracted and hopefully my distractions will be with a red squirrel throwing pine cones out of trees. Or if I really want to be kept on my feet a park bear. Not the agitation of electronic devices and phones.

I plan on still writing in my journal and sending letters and postcards to a few people. I had so much fun with regular pen and paper up north last year even though I stayed at motels and had wifi. I haven't camped up north in awhile. Several years and never during the fall but in the summer. The trees are wonderful and start to turn in September. Awesome oranges, and reds in different variations. It is a breath taking sight. It is breath taking anyway past Sault Ste. Marie. I always love how many places you can explore around Lake Superior up to Thunder Bay. Not going to make it that far with the prices of gas the way it is. We will go to a provincial park called Pancake Bay. Not going to be camping in a tent either. We have a pop up but don't hook up so it is more like camping. It usually is rainy that time of year but you never know. I'm hoping for a Indian summer. It has been unusually warm this year .

It is sort of funny that I live in so called North(tourist trap) even though I think it really is central Ontario and have to escape this place to get a Holiday up even farther up north. It is nice to get away from tourist hell even though most go home when the kids start school after Labour Day and the others go home after Canadian Thanksgiving. I look forward to be a tourist for once and will not be rude like some of them can be. I have seen demanding tourist in the area I'm going to also. It really is ugly no matter where you are to be a total jack ass to people that live in an area . When asked where I'm from and J is from and we say, They are like your Ok. What they don't like is people from the GTA or TO. I seem not to blame them because we get those same people where I live. Seems like the stereo type fits most of the time. Or the bad apples seem to enforce that horrible stereo type of rude, difficult and demanding.

Anyways, I'm sort of looking forward to the trip and even on some days like the planning.

Changing Tide

I have many things maturing at the moment that I'm excited about. I'm getting the house organized and getting a new couch. The gym is working out real well also and my mood is picking up. I'm also going skiing again next week also and I'm sure the exercise and loosing weight will pay off in how much more endurance I have. I have next month with several trips planned also. I'm also starting to plan my summer out and it is bright with family visiting from the states. I also have some of my own trips planned for the summer. I look forward to a season of golf and mtn. biking also. I plan on training extra hard at the gym for it also so I will get an edge on these things. It is amazing how a mood can pick up when you have so much planned and it keeps me on my toes. It is also my time of year for my mood to pick up. I will have to watch it as March is a hyper month for me. I will capitalize on getting some done while everything is all fun and games and not nasty energy, scattered thoughts and impulsive everything. I have been looking for the signs and started to medicate according since I only take pills prn.

Themed February

I have been a little bored lately. I can feel the nervous energy coursing through me as the weather hasn't been up to par since Sunday. The weather has been terrible. Raining for two days then snow squalling for two days. I don't know what today will bring but I have to get out of this house. I had a productive day Saturday, when it was gorgeous. Took a ride to another town and had lunch and shopped. It was so pretty and bright. In my boredom this week , I decided that February is full of fun things to celebrate. February has the Superbowl, Fat Tuesday, Valentine Day, and The dogs that I term The Girls birthday. I love doing themed anything as it helps me get the motivation to clean ,organize and decorate for these occasions. I also like making food for these occasions.
I'm still thinking about my menu for these occasions. Fat Tuesday, I already have some red beans in the freezer for that and I will whip up some Dirty Rice for lunch. Superbowl, I don't have a clue what to make. I want it to be fun as I pour over recipes on the Internet trying to find something different. I don't like football much but love the food and celebration of the Superbowl. I have always had fun watching one day of football and having wonderful food. Also, in my boredom it gives me something to plan. Valentines Day is more sketchy as I don't know what theme I'm doing this year. Last year was a Lady & The Tramp theme. Spaghetti for two with it decorated like an Italian Restaurant all with the red and white check table cloth, candles , Chianti and watching the movie. I know it sounds corny but it was nice. When I lived in the states I would take advantage of the awesome Superbowl sales and what ever I got on sale would also make a wonderful Valentines dinner. I would get deals on buy one bag of shrimp and get another free. It made wonderful shrimp cocktail. I also found a ton of meat on sale to grill or do what ever with . They also had tons of junk food on sale. It was like a dream come true for me with everything on sale that I loved. I have no idea if they will have sales for the Superbowl in Canada and certainly not like the states. They did have a Grey Cup(Canadian Football thing like the Superbowl) sale for some appetizers all made up but hardly the type of sale you find in the states. I miss my awesome sales. I also miss having a party shop in town. I used to find such the most interesting things to decorate for the theme. They would have everything. I also loved this chain called Deals. I would find the right dip container and a football chip holder. I still have some of my things for Party's but they are in storage at the moment and will probably stay there till spring. I have found in this hick shit hole town they do have a dollar store and they have themed napkins and some party supplies but not helium in the balloons or the selection at some of the dollar junk stores in the states. I could go on but I'm truly slowly adjusting to this shit hole town that lacks much except how pretty it is. I have had time over the years to adjust to it but never had to live here full time.
Back to being bored. I'm less bored when I'm planning something. My partner thinks I'm nuts celebrating everything. I'm nuts but it does help me get so much accomplished and something to look forward to. It keeps me busy also. I'm also looking forward to my mini-holiday. All booked and plan. I count the days till Sunday. I choose Sunday because they have the cheapest rates on Sunday. I also managed to get a 25 dollar gift certificate booking that room from Chapters. Can't beat it. The trip also makes me tolerate being in the shit hole town I'm in. I have to get away from it about every three months to tolerate it. It is like oh there is civilization out there. It is a bit of fresh air and relief from being in the bush and getting a chance to go back to the hustle and grind of a city.

Bouncy Ball

The last couple of days I have been bouncing like a bouncy ball during the day when I'm not sleeping. I have short- leashed myself with meds for the past three days and it just makes my body feel like a wet noodle but does nothing for my brain to slow down. Except itmakes me go to sleep at odd hours during the day and not sleep through the night.
Today, my legs aren't as restless bopping up and down as the past couple of days and that is a good sign as it is very annoying to have your whole body fidgeting. I went to town yesterday and made it quick as my mood wasn't conducive to social interaction and what I think in this mood comes out of my mouth. In this manic mix I'm not tactful and I'm getting used to a town I really don't want to live in and have an opinion about everything and everybody in this mood. I even have some noises that just come out of me. I did manage to pick up my Bose system and it really is great. It is a very great bright spot as I love music in about every genre. Even though rock, pop and punk are my favorite. It really enhances the music on my ipod and makes me want to collect more music . Collecting music has never been a problem anyways as I have over 1,000 albums on my ipods.
I have been up for awhile and still can't concentrate very well but I do my best in the morning hours and it doesn't take any thought to pick up and water plants. I'm getting trash together for dump day and some less clutter out of the house. I'm also getting laundry ready so we will have clothes ready for our trip. I also have to brush the animals again as they are getting boarded next week. I'm looking forward to some time without them . I love them so much but like time away from them also.
I have alot to look forward to if my mood doesn't get into my way in a terrible nasty way. I'm taking safe guards against that though like having time to have many time outs and if necessary more medication. This probably will be my last trip to a major city till February.