Updating

I thought I would update this blog with a new entry since I have been not updating in awhile. I have been very busy with life. It might be a short update since blogger is giving me problems. My mood has pretty much leveled out and is getting better. I still have my moments. Life has been a little crazy with all the doctor appointments I have. I have one more appointment left with wearing the ekg holter monitor and I will be done with it. I have worn it twice so far and have to get up at the crack of dawn to give it back. The annoying part is getting up at the crack of dawn to give it back the next day.

I have been exercising a lot lately also. Mostly, swimming and jogging. The jogging is a little bit of a joke. It looks more like fast pace walking. I'm really out of shape and it is just coming back to me. I have not jogged more than a couple of times in the last year due to various reasons. I noticed exercising real helps with my joint and muscle pain. It doesn't feel great at the time but it seems like I have more mobility. I try to exercise at least a half an hour a day now. It helps me emotionally also. It seems to clear some of the cob-webs from my brain and stay more focused. It has been great for anxiety also. I have really been trying to take care of myself.

I also have been hard at work with cleaning and decluttering. I really hate a junked up house and dirty house. To chaotic for me. It is hard to declutter when it isn't your stuff to get rid of. It is J's stuff and it needs to go. I have been getting rid of junk for about 3 years now and barely have even scratched the surface with everything that needs to go. It has been a long process trying to get J on board with getting useless clutter out of here. It is a slow process but it is finally happening more and more. I actually hung some of my art work in the house. I really don't have much of my stuff in this house even though I have lived here for awhile permanently and not off and on. My stuff still occupies a storage locker.

Anyway, I will see if blogger will work at all and I won't loose the little I wrote. I promise I will start to update more.

I have been trying to get it together lately. The other day I spent it taking care of the yard and trying to thicken it with seed and fertilizer. I even planted 45,000 wildflower seeds for shade in part of the back yard that has a lot of shade. I planted everything in the rain. All the racking and what not made my back ache pretty good. I was real emotional that day also so I wonder if my back wasn't worse from having a build up of all this emotional baggage I have. I decided I need a massage so I went for a massage yesterday and she got most of the soreness out and I have felt better. I also got some Chinese chicken noodle soup for the soul. It was a nice lazy relaxing day while it snowed yesterday. It was weird to see pollen and snow on the hood of the truck. .
It has occurred to me I need to take the bull by the horns and slowly get to where I want to be and seating on the couch isn't going to help. I called about scuba diving classes and I'm thinking about that. I will also get my butt back to the gym as it helps the most with my moods and especially with blackfly season going on. I also need to have more patients when it comes to service around here . I'm dying to get the mower back to manicure my lawn to cut down on some of the bugs around here. I have never been religious but I need to get some of my spirituality back that keeps me at peace and do some meditation again. I need some peace of mind as mine is starting to crack some. I really know I need to step it up when my mind starts backfiring. I have been eating more healthy with tons of vegetables, taking vitamins, trying to get out more and hoping to exercise some of that anxiety away. I need to think more positive even though I don't want to but negative thinking has never got me anywhere. Most of all I need to stay busy and not bored. My idle mind gets me into a ton of trouble. Now I will search for things to not keep me so idle and hope this weather cooperates